you said that as long as i promised that i would never let go, its okay to mess up, its okay to feel like crap, its okay even if all i do was my infamous disappearing acts. and you said that if we held onto each other, i could beat whatever that come between, in front or behind me. somewhere between all that changing and growing older, between the many phone calls of *secret planning* and *whats the plan today*, there still lived a girl who believed in that.
hAPpY BiRthDaY
综艺大哥大里的魔术表演显然很精彩，但我依然感觉空荡荡的。总觉得闷闷的，好无聊。好想能像魔术师手中的那只鸽子一样永远消失在帽子里。再不然，如果可以把我变到一个没人认识的地方，找个陌生人好好爱一场，那会不会更精彩？心情遭透了，却说不准为什么。突然很想有个人抱抱我，让我有个可以依靠的肩膀。但我知道，根本没有人有这份力量。闷。
看着干妈疲惫的双眼，
我却只有一句节哀顺便。
面对逝去的，语言显然是无力的。
我不由自主地一直在想，
人的一辈子匆匆忙忙了几十载，
真正能留下的会是什么。
唯一能带走的会不会只剩遗憾。
虽然我不曾认识我的干婆婆。
她也不会晓得我是谁。
唯有内心默默的祝福，
希望她黄泉路上走好。
i did what i must because every second of it made me smile. maybe my decision was rash and confusing to many others but to me, i just felt the time was right to move on. all the omens were right, maybe the stars were in place too or whatever else you believe in. oka, no complex reason. ha. cuddles&puddles itself is a damn good one! in my heart i knew after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, i will be a happier person for having gone through with it.
stupid boss – Have you put up the order for the blue tubes for tkl?
me – Jus now I check wif Felicia to cfm for qty. she say will lemme noe again.
stupid boss – I sms you long time ago to put in the order right?
me – No stock how to place. KC jus told me stock in so I ask Felicia on qty tis morning.
stupid boss – You very cute, stk came in last month and I sms you to put order and now you want to argue no stk how to order?
i is simply cannot be bothered to reply and ignored his calls and went home.
have i ever mention how much i hate sitting in those waiting areas in the hospitals and clinics? and it doesnt help at all that my work place sucks. its full of people. so many i could do without. there aint really piles and piles of things. but there is enough for me to feel like it is on the verge of becoming unmanageable, especially by having silly colleagues around. i have very little patience with the stupid. i know.. i know, im not always the brightest, so maybe i ought to be more considerate. but guess what? im not. i cant deal with stupid people. i was definitely entertained in some days, but seeing how my immediate boss behaves weirdly. im pretty turned off by him many times. i didnt choose to stick those “i cant stand his face anymore” in my mind with glue. they just grew and grew and grew.. RAWR…
i fucking hate my job.
^GTfist says: u know?
inoka says: noe wat?
^GTfist says: its a small world out there.
inoka says: uh..
^GTfist says: empty small world.
inoka says: yeah i noe
^GTfist: so tired. so tired of trying to reach u.
inoka says: ..
inoka says: boo..
^GTfist says: i miss you..
inoka says: how can you miss me?
inoka says: when im rite here..
^GTfist says: but you are not here. you never are.
inoka says: ..
^GTfist says: quit your .... u can do better than that.
inoka says: ....
its a cruel small world. and hasnt it always been this way? believe or not, its shrinking alot faster than you think. you find that im harder to reach these days. dont know ever since when i realised that reaching me goes nowhere. i rather be gone but im still there listening. listening to the phone ring. unsure if i should answer. i never answer the phone anymore unless im certain its something i want to hear. and i know it never is.
sorry..
两年前的昨天，她走了，永远地离开了这个纷繁复杂的世界。
时间渐渐消逝，一转眼又到了她的祭日。两年前的那幕送别，始终清晰的萦绕在我的脑海里，凄楚的烙印在我的心灵。虽然非亲非故，但一个让我敬佩的长辈的离开，心里总是不由自主的涌起一阵阵心酸。我想很多时候，我们都只来得及遗憾却无法挽留。而我也只能一直在角落里，去希望她在另一个世界幸福的生活，希望她不会把我忘记。虽已不能相见，但每年这平常而特殊的日子，无论我身在哪里，我都会深深地把她想起，默默的哀悼。
