my first..

such great honour to actualli haf my first "while drivin.. tyre punctured!" xperience wif EVO and on ECP! luckily meow n johan wif me. makes my almost 4hrs long waitin for the the loadin/unloadin of the car slightly less miserable.. faintz..


it was bfore exit of Rochor when the &^%$*! tyre decided to burst!
well, pple who r drivin, pls fix yr car if thr r some alignment issue.
no kiddin man..

took the toll truck 40 mins to reach us n nther hr + to actualli load the 4wheel drive evo!

gosh, so troublesome! thrs like ants everywhr and nowhr is safe frm em crawlin up our legs!

i was playin wif my fone, takin pics. aft sometime, they realised its gettin abit too dangerous and damn, i was ordered by both to stay away when the guy loadin the car.. so i could onli.. stay inside meow's car and peep frm a distance. lolx BORED!

the boys. johan n meow..

so cute the wheels! travellin ard wif the 4xtra wheels requires xtremely slow speed.

cant control the car frm swayin left rite on high speed.

finalli!!!! maryann safe and ready for changin of tyres first ting next mornin.

haha, maryann is the name we came up for his red evo, while waitin for the loadin.

nice rite!? hee..

every1 commented how lucky i was to haf some1 ard when all this happened..

yeah, i tot to myself. how fortunate i was... in a certain way. :P

면죄를 기다림

心，一直浮在空中。真差。

我想我是真的疲惫了。严重的疲惫了。那累到谷底的呐喊，连自己都听不到。
究竟怎样做才是对，才是最好？有人可以教教我吗？
很累，不想去想。。开始发现，也许我已爱上不和人接触的感觉。

感叹，原本是最近的距离，因为我的累，而陌生了。
原来，在无休止的等待里，什么都会变冷。。

沉沉睡去

i received a sms frm a long-time "no longer dat close" friend, G. She asked me if "ive heard". anytime some1 starts a conversation wif dat sentence, wif "did you hear abt...", it cant be good. so, i hadnt. i hadnt heard. and... it wasnt good.

so, back to the shockin news. some1 died. a mutual fren, some1's husband, a daddy.
he died. suddenly. almost tragically dead of a very sudden massive heart attack.

i was like, wat!? hes onli, almost young 30ish, abt my age.

as kids we learn to draw pretty hearts as art and as we grew older, we were taught of its importance. we knew it signifies love. yet, in all actual reality, our hearts is nvr pretty, oways bloody and fragil. and if oneday, it decided to stop, decided to clogged, it breaks down and we r screwed. its over. we r done.

many centuries ago, pple dun just die suddenly at tis age. they die alot older..
wat is happenin to us?

心里的迷茫

一个人的时候，难免会胡思乱想。幻想一些六根不静的事。
忽然想起这一些词，待嫁。婚纱。戒指。逃婚。然后私奔。。

一直都对私奔有着一种莫名的好感。紧紧的抓住那双不被认同的手，就能感受得到的心跳。那放逐天涯的美感，以爱为首，以日月为证，投抛一切现实和梦境，向着有山有水的地方行走。在彼此的小指间拴上细细的红绳，走过每一个相爱的春夏秋冬。我的心甘情愿。我的期许，我的静默守望。你，感受得到吗？

但如果真有那么一天，应该到哪儿去呢？
想了想，不如奔月球吧，据说那边只有一对情侣和一只玉兔，可以安居且远离人烟。。

高高在上

请不要因为爱上了一个人，就把自己放在了一个狭小的空间里。
请不要因为深爱着这个人，就把自己的双手禁锢在枷锁里。

请你一定不要。。

我

只是一只无奈的九尾狐，全身有彩红色毛皮的那种。

隐了姓埋了名

The worst things: — Egyptian proverb
To be in bed and sleep not, to want for one who comes not, to try to please and please not.

our 2days old new boss told me to haf a chat wif him today at 3pm. i onli had a straight no sorry im busy. me today is so sick of him pretendin dat he fuckin care, when he obviously dun. ok mayb he does, the onli difference was he probably cared abt how hes gonna keep our office together - his new job. i so wanna tell him dun waste my time, and most certainly, do not waste his. i sent him numerous emails wif plenty stuffs to follow up, for his "advisory" to speak. actualli, i tot to myself, wats thr for him to advise or perhaps change? everytin is ready, all i needed was green lights for go-ahead. i was fustrated coz i no like to communicate wif puppets. the instance he replied. it felt terrible. it hit me hard least unexpected. his signature..

Bryan Teh, ASME
Executive Director

lettin gary go has become an art i tot i haf gotten good at it. over the weeks if i could only make myself mean it mayb jus once, jus once... sighz

how etheral
our 2nd home
the familiar desk
his heh heh heh laffs
on my back lookin at the VPLs
how small
the attempts to move on
old faces disappeared
yesterday is lost

by his request, i post

today we haf a new boss.. his name is bryan duuno wat.. round round de (again), very sure of himself.. came in shake a few hands and said he will rem my smile.. duh! den... he disappeared! go whr, we duuno and i dun tink any of us care.. lolx so far, dats all for today!

JK very sweet, sent me a poem and he tinks its quite noobish but i tot it was nice! u dun find many men today who actualli bother to write a gal a poem.. no? oh and its veryyy long!! lolx.

I miss you when
your smile was real
heart-warming grin
the way it made me feel
I crave
I reminisce
the days when time is precious
Voices filled with laughter
and joyous glee
I yearn for all the times
those eyes stared into mine
deep, soulful, loving looks
nothing more sweet or divine
I ache for those days when
your embrace was strong
My feelings needless to say
for words cant explain it
this feelings just too real
I miss you so much
I cant wait to see your face
cuz when were together
my heart begins to race
When I'm with you
its like no one can get in my way,
Even when were apart
I think about you all day
diff inspirations
diff sources
only one which i seek
the only source of happiness
you and you alone
the goddess in my heart
i miss you

JK, tis works better den the "spider-flower" haha..

lemme post a few pics of the 6of us still in the office.

marv special-ordered some realli cute jelly-cheesecakes and we shared among the few of us. it was tasty and yes, the rest in the office DUN GET IT! wahhaha

more pictures.. lazy to write. lolx

like those "missy" frm red light district ma? lolx

gary and the gals...

ok la, gtg le.

灵2

† L'ange Sans Ailes † Dans l'enfer je servirai says:
Who are u my lady?
Are u Venus herself incarnate?
Why does my heart miss a beat when u flicker ur eyes?
For u blind me with ur very smile, so dazzling to my heart.
Ignite me u have, when your cheeks are blushed,
For your delicate touch aflames my divine soul
Embrace me if u must, heartbeat against heartbeat,
Till the melody of the Universe ends.
† L'ange Sans Ailes † Dans l'enfer je servirai says:
another 4 lines. I don't know wat to say.

灵

† L'ange Sans Ailes † Dans l'enfer je servirai says:
Who are u my lady?
Are u Venus herself incarnate?
Why does my heart miss a beat when u flicker ur eyes?
For u blind me with ur very smile, so dazzling to my heart.

inoka says:
is dat poem for me?

† L'ange Sans Ailes † Dans l'enfer je servirai says:
To Inoka:
Who are u my lady?
Are u Venus herself incarnate?
Why does my heart miss a beat when u flicker ur eyes?
For u blind me with ur very smile, so dazzling to my heart.

inoka says:
wow

† L'ange Sans Ailes † Dans l'enfer je servirai says:
for some unknown mysterious reason, i find that u spark this creativity in me.
† L'ange Sans Ailes † Dans l'enfer je servirai says:
even I am amazed at how I come up with these words.

my sh 24/7

you had me conquered
beautiful unicorn you rode
across my deserted palace
magical nomad’s sword struck
orion’s arms and draco’s wings
two hearts united
you left me liberated
queen of my own snowflakes sanctuary
i reborn for you
my buffin king
into eternity

before the dream fades

im not good at ultimatums, so i canot say dat tis will be the last time i will be talkin abt us, but i haf been tryin to find a closure for tis whole issue abt leavin n partin but i could not let go. i was told to forget, to move on, to consider life better aft every1 moves on. but how is it possible aft meetin a bunch who combo-ed so well so much, who helped me to find my path when i was almost lost? so its cfm dat 1 by 1 is leavin, or at least dearest shir is, very soon.. infact, too soon! she simply cannot stand the lie-lector (newly appointed director) in da office. nxt i reckon wld be my darlin lizzie.. borin! borin!! written a testimonial for lizzie in friendster as below.

~ i fell in LOVE wif a wonderfully unique person. she was able to show me life thru her eyes, which was very diff frm anyting i haf ever experienced thru my own. seductive world of her imagination, i was able to enter lizzie's castle wif plentiful fond memories i knew, will nv be erased by time ~

liz,
fly away wif me
my dearest lizzie
on our devil fightin adventure
visions of perfect combos
driftin across infinity
enterin our dreams

for Shireen aft i learned abt her resignation

her journey alone begins
when she venture out the door
and i pray will ends when we walk back thru together
again, into the arms of our only man

din get to post this 2poems coz blogger was down. duuno y. everyting seemed to be so down on me recently.. grrr..

[我们的他]
他
早已化成了一只萤火虫
飞向了他期待中的焰火梦
留下苦涩的人
黯然泪下

[我们]
我们之间
有这一本厚厚的过去
对于无意中闯入的人
只是一本无字书
因为太多美好的世外桃源
我们只能
通通写在心底

the onli good news today was.. i finalli passed my class 3. i guess dats abt all.

把酒问青天

这一天，終究是來了。
我，醉了，哭累了，沉沉睡去。醒来只有浅浅的心碎声还在低低敲打。
原以为醉醒了一切再也无所谓。自欺欺人!
我想是这样的吧。那6人烟花，美丽绽放之后，也许能剩下的也只有疲倦与寂寞。
此刻断断残残，我心似画，我情如诗。



明月几时有？把酒问青天

不知天上宫阙，今夕是何年

我欲乘风归去，又恐琼楼玉宇，高处不胜寒

起舞弄清影，何似在人间

转朱阁，低绮户，照无眠

不应有恨，何事长向别时圆

人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全

但愿情长在，千里共婵娟

呵，其实有时候不唱，展示的也是一种令人绝望的美。
如果不爱6人帮，便不会感觉害怕，那前所未有的怕。。
也许爱就是这样，在料不及时出现，在没有防备的时候被迫分离。
感叹我们这近一年的努力，好像在这一刹那间都变得毫无意义。
无法预期的今天以后，不知会如何顺流？逆流？
其实，没什么好说的，变了质的生活也许就是这样，而已。

晴天霹雳

today, nvr haf i seen our world like i seen it nw n nvr haf i felt the pain
like i felt it nw. when no words of comfort or words of love, can touch us.
when no eyes of wisdom or eyes of mercy, can we look at him.. tis is miserable.
fuck, i felt so alone oready? tis is the ASME today, wat a place, dat i call, our workplace, our 2nd home. i wonder how the gals r copin.. jus as lost as me? jus as depressed as me?

meme:
gals i very sad haiz yuan lai is the knowin the 6of us mayb goin seperate places broke my heart.. into million pieces..
liz:
haiz.. i oso.. the thots of us all goin our ways scares me.. i dun tink can ever find tis ultimate combo anywhr else.. haiz feel so sian, wanna hide somewhr...
shir:
gal true frendship cannot be seperated bu distance or location 1.. we may not see each other everyday but nutin has changed..

they say: 世界上最近的距离，不是一丈之内，可以触及，而是，遥遥万里，依然心有灵犀。
realli is like tis de meh?

when i read all dat, i cant tink of anyting else.. tears jus keep escapin frm the eyes i tried so hard not to tear.. the 6of us + gary. omfgg..

不知道人的一生到底会发生什么事，才一天的时间，我们好像经历的人生的几百年，生活的变故就像翻云覆雨的天空，雷电风雨，晴天霹雳，滚滚如潮的向我们扑来，总是认为不至于会发生的事情居然真的发生了！我们不知，真的不知道该如何是好。恍惚的边缘。。

nw, the onli contentment i gotten is frm the 4silly ones playin mj in my hall.. to em, nutin much needed to be said. they jus wanna pei me, lemme sob quietly in my pc room til im feelin better. n yes, i do noe, if i need to talk, they would be thr waitin.. ahh, i cant stay sober, i kinda devastated.. i is need to drown my sorrows.. yellow tail red, yellow tail red..

angela

i had a bad dream again.. sad

my dearest sis, if i could, i would shrink myself so small, sink thru yr skin to yr blood cells n remove watever dat makes you pain, make you ok again. but, im too weak to be yr cure. i can onli stand by you n watch you fall..

bad omen.. i no like wat i "saw"....

very sweet surprise..

some1 sent me 6 lovely roses!! no card no name, so mysterious. ha!
WHITE roses in GREEN wrappins, green my fav color.. so sweeeeeeeeet!

6 stalks = i wanna b yours
white roses = u r heavenly, i miss you

ok, i called up n check wif the florist lolx..

meme: hi, i jus received a bouquet frm your guys n thrs no note frm sender. mayb u can tell..
(i was interupted bfore i could finish my sentence)
florist: oh the white roses 1 issit? the man say u will noe.. so no need leave card.
meme: you haf his name?
florist: duuno issit the sender, but is a gal name..

ok, i tink noe who le..


meme: heyhey, did u sent me white roses in green wrappin??
jy: yes, hope it can cheer you up n yes, i noe u like green...
he noes im quite moody recently.. a few simple abc, tis simple gesture, touched me.


Liz says: pple u no like send u d whole shop oso no happy one lah
inoka says: nothin much jus wanna cHeer me up
Liz says: i thk tis kind is most sweet lor
Liz says: no reason jz send one
inoka says: yes
inoka says: dats why
Liz says: rather than special occassion then send
Liz says: hahaha...
Liz says: soooo sweeet de leh
Liz says: tis one nt bad nt bad... add points
inoka says: lolx

i is totalli agreed wif lizzie n i is still smilin til nw!! :)

whr oh whr haf u been?

All the lonely people, where do they all come from...
All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
~ Eleanor Rigby, The Beatles

sick n drowsy, haiz unbearable pain, useless medication n a battled body. yet, i amused myself much this noon when, aft a good few hrs of sleep, my mind rejuvenated enuff to tink clearly once again. it was den dat i realized dat tis stress and sadness i been feelin lately was largely due to my confused state of mind, hidden huge ego of a fairly small built gal.

the sense of not being lost which i work so hard at maintainin was being trampled upon by my fantasies, of havin a total brand new life wif the some1 whom i knew is impossible. there is oways tis imaginary crack i presented bfore myself, imagine escapin thru it n onto life anew.
how is dat possible, a qns i constantly questioned myself.

seriously, i is haf no legitimate complaints. i haf all i need. indeed, much more den suffices. so, any thots out of me is merely a matter of a momentary loss of affection for present, lettin all funny sickenin wild thots lead to me to forget all i haf n wantin of more.
yet, i haf an issue, perhaps the same many of us drifters haf.. i am often bored.

the weird ting is, i simply love to be alone and prefer not to feign interest unnecessarily but i get bored eventualli. i love to hang out wif pals.. try out new stuffs n hobbies n likewise i get bored soon enuff.. i wonder if tinkin too much got to do wif it. mayb, jus mayb i shld haf my eyes closed try not to ponder or wander or pursue anyting pensively watsoever. try not to be clever or witty or "wise", stop tryin to analyze wats on every1s mind, contemplate my every next move to ensure me not losin hope..

to the you who's tryin hard to understand me when i barely noes myself. you vie in vain my dear, n you will only be driven insane, shld you keep tryin..

陌生了

你不懂得
到底我需要的是什么
看不透是你的错

一切都陌生了

trapped

the bell tolls in my mind by a few simple words.. i feel a part of me dyin. thrs nuthin left behind of wat i thot was beautiful.. i felt my heart sentenced. either i will die of coldness or dissolve in the atmosphere of time.. time, how much time do i haf to waste? mayb angela was rite, it is rainin happiness ard me yet i no longer had clouds above my heart.. wtf, i dun even noe me aft all this years.. how come i nvr see my real face, my real heart, my real me? yes leave me alone, back off.. dats wat i wanted, isnt it jac? mayb hell is wat i wanted, wat i needed, wat i deserved..

yr heaven is not for me, and it nvr will be, frm now on.

wat a dream.

had another nitemare..

in the dark fog of a walkway
is a discernin you
wif devilish face
small and stopped up eyes
mouthfull of worms
u cried
i’ll make you suffer!!!

ok, dats bad enuff to wan to go back to bed.

@#$%^&*!

its weird how you can haf such peaceful weekend, and get your mind off of everythin. den the second you step thru the door, it all comes back. it seems like its all worse now. like it jus hit me for the first time. hate it especially when all i wanna is to put wrong tings rite but no matter how hard i tried, tings are still headin to the super wrong direction!
i noe i haf realli amazin family and frens, but sometimes i feel like im too much for any1 to handle. even me, myself. i feel disconnected frm em, like im in a little pace of my own and its a scary place to be. since i cant bring any1 in.. might as well stay thr on my own. perhaps its not being me dats xhaustin, its being the1 for the1 whos nvr been mine which is realli burnin away which ever left within me. over the past few days ive been feelin myself driftin deeper and deeper. why am i oways so fuckin depressed???!! perhaps im jus tired. mayb when im tired, either everythin is purely amusin, or everythin is extremely annoyin!! grrr...

ok, tink im not makin too much sense here but well.. at least im done. for now.

梦不到

已经好久好久都没有再梦到他了。
如果说日有所思夜有所梦，那是不是意谓着我不再那么想念着他？
他究竟在那里。为什么我总是捉摸不到。
不知他会不会像我现在一样的想着我？
这样莫名其妙的，非常非常的，刻骨铭心的，想起我。

原来大年初一的我一点也不开心。

rain + hm alone = borin!!

aiya 6:17 le still in office.. cant go hm yet coz rain is heavy!! zzzzz..

no1 fetch me home, abit lost. many many pple no cabbies. somemore CTE sure jammmm.

lolx *tink of the train ride + walkin back hm* = stresss

so while waitin for rain to stop, might as well blog alittle.

noon we went to vivo for lunch. duuno whr to eat so boss say marche.. hmm, as normal, nuthin much to eat oso thr. faintz anyway four of us took a pic. quite nice ma hor.. dats lizzie, me, shireen and ada..

gail n marv.. took tis pic when she on fone tryin to xplain to tis dumbo on how to get to our office. lolx check out her pissed off cum stress face.. actualli, quite pretty oso la she.

after makan we head to Toy R Us for more eggflips. got myself 2 more chicks and ta da! my latest collection! i need 4 more to complete the set.. who wan buy for me? lolx

ok la, me goin hm le.. later mj better be good!!! grrr..

二月十四 in office

it was 情人节 in office. Nuthin special for me coz practically my mood sure very laoya on holidays like such lolx. duuno y, dun ask me y. i wun noe how to ans.. but well, sometimes, a little surprise can be pretty sweet..

gail gave tis to all colleagues and of coz me haf la.. so sweet hor she. i no prepare anyting for any1 lolx... even my boss had 1.. he dinno who gib him, he oso no bother go find out.. so borin!

tis mini card frm jo.. it was oready on my desk when i reached office. hmm.. a very simple gesture dat warmed my heart.. ^^ eh!! now dat im lookin at it, y no hab my name???
eeeekkkk mass production huh!!! JOANNE!!!!!

tis 21 stalks of 红玫瑰 bouquet is frm a fren Charles, he's so sweet! 21 stalks actualli meant im devoted to you.. but how can.. lolx faintz i prettier or the roses prettier? aiya no need say, cfm i prettier la! hee..

ok la 2 of us who hab many many roses.. jo and hers frm jason.
not bad wor he, self-delivery to our office! men like dat whr to find...

johan came and surprised me wif tis realli HUGE bear n roses.. but the bear quite ugly! lolx.. countin, i hab 3 bears frm him oready... no more no more... no more bears pls...


i heard tis frm some1, dun rem who..
if luv is blind, y is lingerie so popular? lolx lolx

shanghai shanghai pics

Day 1 walkin along nanjing street.. i tink?

cant quite rem.. all i rem was ksn COLD~~~~

the air was freakin cold n dry but hor duuno why me so 犯贱, die die wan eat ice-cream. so gatherin most of us, we "force" our boss, Gary bring us go eat.. yum yum! but seriously,

quite ex.. not cheap to eat Haggen Daz in shanghai..
me liz marv and jojo + duuno whose hand (shireen?), njoyin...
but aft dat, i is cough non stop lolx!

very very long long walk to buy nuthin at tis nanjing xi road..

me & jojo... she ah oways hungry de!

took tis pic for lizzie, i tink im good lolx.. anyway, tis market is damn dirty. i sometimes love to litter.. tot i was bad, they lagi jialats, eat throw eat throw like no1 business. faintz..

famous & cheap 现做现卖 4 for 5rmb.. they simply loved it but to me, ok nia coz porky taste too strong. joanne loved it!!! if go shanghai, do rem to try, if u can tahan the long queue..

the 5 of us at the busy street of 诚皇庙..

wonderin why oways me & lizzie? i oso duuno wor, pple say 2 leos cannot get along..

the fact is we adored eachother.. heee.. i jus realised she frm my sec sch oso!! a few yrs junior den me though...

tot tis pic was very happ wif my sexy shades. faint le ma?

and lizzie and me wif the old shanghai wall street behind us!

the boat ride which lasted for 2hrs almost killed me. it was borin!!! scenery so so nia.. nuthin spect! waste time... grrrr... i no like boats!

see, i not the only 1 who is bored! lolx

went KTV.. So expensive!! boss wan go so we LL.. lolx
marv slpin den shireen n few of us garnish her a little, she din realised and still posed for foto takin aft she woke!! see the evil grinz frm us all!

any resemblance??? lolx.

last min shoppin.. last min pic taken.. me & marv, the gal who shared room wif me.

the gal who dun ..... hmm.. better not say lolx.

taken outside a peking duck restaurant.. so called famous 1 oso la. but other den the duck, the rest so so... onli! after the 4 ducks, we shall continue shoppin!!!
the sun so bright but its very very very very very cold......

inside the restaurant. check out the lambie!! BIG.. tastie i heard.

lol yes heard coz i dun eat lamb. can't stand the super 搔味..

my fav ex boss, winyen on the rite and my fav boss, gary on left and their mutual "eggflip" lookalike friend frm sg - shanghai... round round de he, very interestin!

shop eat shop eat shop eat.. dessert restaurant. dun rem name.

tink is 1 of the famous 1 again, but well, its quite lousy. n expensive!!!

strike a pose!! or 2!! lolxxx

makan at the airport before boardin back to sg..


actualli many more fotos but lazy le la... hmmphh..

DRAINED!!!!

shanghai shanghai

26 Jan 07

day 1 at airport, those taller ones in backrow: shireen in green tankie and beside her is ada ( her velcro takin picture for us, lol) next is my boss in red red limited edition "POLO" tee.. marvie in blue with jojo in her bright red glasses and and the most retard men i ever met, ALEX! ok la, not pissed wif him le but still... shrugs!

now is for those cuties in the front: me feelin cold oready in the jacket angela bought me with lizzie's face so near to me! dun tink she wan stick towards the other side oso. pengz. n after the BIG gap is daphne and eve, my boss PA! aiya lizzie posted 2 funny clips on Utube but i duno how to post the clip here.. so jus follo the link ba!

check out my fav gal lizzie and her "gimme chicken" on return flight frm shanghai..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTFFzrX47xI

me n lizzie in shanghai, almost retard in the cold.. lolx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSskka_1rc0

will upload more interestin pics aft my 10mbps in action! haha.. ok, back to work!