the past weeks ive been havin terrible emotions and my mind has been thinkin a lot. past, present or even future. cant believe it or cant accept it, i couldnt realli tell the difference. the future, im not quite ready. i cant see em at all. my past, the memories still so strict. ive yet to forget and let go. i seriously wonder is thr anywhr else i could be.. my soul dat used to bling bling doesnt shine anymore. i wonder if i could sparkle again. truth is, i wan to feel happier, i wan to be happy. but the more i pursue, the less it is within my grasp.
you saw all dat, din you lizzie? thr are so many kind words in dat card dat healed me at least once. readin it, i almost burst into tears. lotsa drops of pain and sorrow i drank when all dat was written was all dat i couldnt achieved. den silently i told myself my pain is no big deal. its no big deal, its no big deal.. no big deal. keep repeatin til its real. my life depends on tis. suddenly i realised its all abt tis, me tryin not to die.
i noe hope is onli an illusion but i guess, its time to be brave.
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