工作

this is all there is on my new work desk. nothing fancy, just essentials. current boss mentioned to me before this company function like a big happy family. booo! so untrue. most co-workers are damn self-centered. abit abit complain, plenty of arrows flying around. love is definitely not in the air. i miss the girls… rawr!!

von and me in this really pretty washroom during our recent visit to our client in bukit timah area. plenty of driving around for me. so tiring and im beginning to hate driving! grrr.. mc today, back to work tomorrow. dangz.. TGIF!!

对自己说的

天將降大任於斯人也，必心磨其心智，勞其筋骨。

早已麻木

my feet are numb
my tummy feels numb
even my left thumb is numb
im feeling numb
in every places except where i would like to be
on second thought
exhale lightly
maybe i should treasure these numb moments
they might be the only ones i will ever truly feel

if someone asked you
where would you spend eternity
how would you answer

极限

10 fucking mins has passed.
a couple is still yelling at each other.
the shouting outside my window is so depressing.
im tempted to close my curtains, again.
so i dont have to deal with it.

given another 10 mins,
the man might stab the woman in the heart with a kitchen knife.
she would be crushed and bled to death, wide eyes open.
realizing he was still very much in love with her, jumps to his death.

maybe i should call the cops.
no, i should just let them strangle each other.

15 mins,
all was suddenly silent.
i wondered if that was the sound of letting go.

simon says forget

you cant when you try fucking hard
you will when you actually give up

boo!

fallen petals

them

two women met
old friends maybe
with nothing in common anymore
except the man between them
and their past

i cant remember the last time
we spoke on the phone

you said you want to quit smoking
i cant register the words
can you quit me instead
because the heart that beats for you
is suddenly silent

"There are no secrets in this world, only stories" – Mutiso

janelle's 1st month

feeding and sleeping at the same time. baby’s trademark? did not see much changes in her features, still as tiny in size and so pretty! i wonder if she dreams at all now..

shir and lizzie went to design and print the god-ma tees for us to wear. it was really cute the way our faces were sketched.. or rather animated? so comical, especially mine. haha..

its hardly a secret that i do not want to have a child yet. but today, carrying her in my arms close to my heart, with every little movements touches me in a way i havent experienced before, i actually felt the desire to be a mother. i couldnt believe my eyes. then again, i wrote these words myself. lolx..

just the 5 of us. we made a choice. we chose eachother. ladies who make me laugh, who chases me around the room and tries to chew my finger, ladies who are just as crazy under their beauty, who tells me to shut up when i should, who will be there when i need. and who i can be nothing but myself with. meme, ada, lizzie, joanne and shireen.

as cocky as it may sound. im going to say it anyway. i think we are all very cute! ha.

my 1731

im so falling in love!!
he is hot, he is smooth, he is cool and he is so mine!
he might not be as fast as the red evo and white wrx..
but YAY anyway!

*grinz*

rawrrrrrrrrrrr

i can handle bad hair day.
i can handle terrible traffic delay.
i can handle long flights without smoking.
i can definitely handle junk calls from people who wants to sell me shit i dont need.
BUT waking up to a modem that loses its connection,
no matter what i do,

i fucking lose my temper!

谈何容易

how can i let go of the questions i ask but was never answered?

drips twinkle

Breathtaking..

LF’s responses to my work had usually been mentally intense for me, always forcing my mind to wander deeper, distracting my laziness, bringing me steps closer to my next work. now reading this, i am lost. inescapably lost in this beautiful poem. all i felt was a feeling of calm and serenity. its like nothing could hurt, not here, not ever. hmm, very intoxicating.

Do not say sorry, for you are meant to err
Hold my hands and free yourself
That the thrills of soaring have been waiting
For you always had angel's wings

Do not say sorry, for you are meant to err
Rest in my arms to be in eternal nirvana
Kiss my eyes and your eyes shall never tear
And I shall lay with you and bear your sins

maybe if i stare at this poem long enough, i might actually convinced myself that its no longer painful..

drip by drip

was inspired and wrote this sometime back after reading Warrior by LF but did not post it as somehow it didnt feels right lolx. after a slight amendment earlier, still not good enough but well, here it goes..

i am sorry, i am only a human.
very restricted yet often wonder about the freedom of flying.
pretending i found liberty and the thrills of soaring.
convinced myself that i can flutter without angel’s wings.

i am sorry, i am only a human.
could you hug my imperfect state that i currently wallow in?
could you make the last tears gone and stop my suffering?
could you lay me down and forgive me for all my sins?

oh another one by LF that i screen-shot in a hurry. i supposed he did that one in like about 5 mins?

if you look close

你让我把
所有的难过
通通的悲伤
廉价卖给你
我的存货太满
要怎么卖
不是我不肯
而是你的包袱太小了
根本装不下

for her i will

she is growing older each day.
maybe one day she might.
maybe she never will.
still, i want to do my part.
and begin again, with proper spellings.

off divin board

Lex*King says:
kewel!
Lex*King says:
OPS! jewel i mean. =)
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
boo
Lex*King says:
how are you?
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
still alive?
Lex*King says:
damn! your blog brings heartache.
my heart aches for you with almost every single entries.
what happened to you princess?
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
am ok le..
Lex*King says:
but u sounded heartbroken.
who bullied u? tell me i’ll go punch him when i come back sg. =)
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
dun punch, kill can?
Lex*King says:
......
Lex*King says:
seriously, whoever it was who broke your heart,
it’s only a matter of time before he realized you were too good for him.
i just wish you could see it too. =)
and please stop wasting your beautiful eyes on someone who is blind.
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
wah?
Lex*King says:
just remember you deserved the best and only the best.
and he obviously weren't it.
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
wow..
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
wey some gals said dat to u issit lolx..
Lex*King says:
hell no! i’m a nice guy.
i don’t break girls’ heart. =)
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
lolx…
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
joyce? u broke her heart, i rem.. u ass..
Lex*King says:
shsss!

infact, jus weeks ago i was lookin for a rope to hang myself wif but rite now im mostly feelin ok, wif a hint of apathy. i duuno if its the anticipation of finalizin decisions/stuffs and the ‘lettin go’ part lingerin close or am mental blockin the sadness. at least glad im better already. tings are changin like they always do and the onli diff is dat i finalli learnt to forget. although tis isnt happiness yet but well, my life is turnin out to be not so miserable, aft all...

see, im right, men are all liars!

P.O the panda

kung fu panda is hilarious, it made me laff. so, kung fu panda is a good movie. at least for me. yet, aft the movie, i begin to feel life bores me. i wish thr was someting mystical wif special powers, elves, fairies, witches, fumin dragons even. anyting to lift our ordinary souls, to embrace extraordinary lives. how i wish i could perform someting special, not realli kung fu types but like communicate wif dogs, be invisible, predict random stuffs, read minds, telekinesis, mayb grow wings and fly.. instead, i read, write, shop, play games, eat and sleep. how borin. if onli thr was more den wat we actualli noe. wake up wake up, its impossible. if i do haf special powers, wun i be a super hero already savin the world? or mayb i do haf someting special aft all.. i haf compassion and the ability to forgive. bleahz.

in quenya, bfore headin off to bed, you say gdnite tis way..
ouel du. amin autien rath..

janelle

ta-dah! janelle, the lovely baby frm a perfect pair jason & joanne, was born 3^rd june, weightin at 2.8kg. or was it 28kg? omg 28 like alot. so shld be 2.8 lolx. wootz am officially a god-mummy!!

isnt she gorgeous? tiny fingers, tiny toes and a realli cute nose, she is so small and oh so very cute! her features pretty, it was a carbon copy of joanne. like mummy like daughter i guess.. i actualli wanted to hold her but dismissed the idea as was too afraid dat i might jus drop her if she starts wailin. lolx. ok, im not a baby person but i promise ill try to be the best god-ma!

a baby changes tings and life will nvr be the same am sure, even slp will become a ‘mayb’ for the new parents. while searchin for wat makes their hearts twirl, the future oso meant a time of great stress and readjustment for the 3Js. but yeah, like wat they say, all is worthy as janelle grows to be the sweetest gal, healthy and blessed wif good tings in life. so buckle up JJs, its time for the ride of yr lives!

im sure jus like me, von cant wait for her to grow more and hear her cute giggles. i wonder if its realli gonna be wif ‘ga ga’s and ‘goo goo’s like ive seen wif most babies and their parents. but i dun tink i will start playin wif the many ‘aahin’s, ‘ooh ga ga’s and silly peek-a-boo’s.. ha!

like an angel, she enchants everyone and most of us spent time lingerin ard her temporary crib, tryin to catch a glimpse of her, half closed eyes and smilin. her adorable smile took most of our breaths away, even though her cries gave me a headache, bleah. and oh, besides me, tis little princess has gotten herself 3 other god-mummies to show her the world and shower her wif plenty of hugs and kisses. i bet she can feel the love oready!

彻底看清

如果真的要骗，为何不把猫尾藏好一点？
如果真需要骗，为何还是要让我发现？

他的自以为可以瞒天过海，他的被发现后的理直气壮，让人很讨厌。
因为不能再被他的谎言杀得片甲不留，我将选择用那 “眼不见为净”的苦训，把他从心底连根拔起。所以我会删除关于他的一切。埋葬不了他，至少可以埋葬自己。埋葬不了过去，至少可以埋葬现在。我也会逼自己断绝所有可能的退路，来保证从此不见。也许男人根本便是世上最不可信的动物。什么东西最可靠？什么东西最信得过？最可信的，其实也只有自己了。

累了。轻轻地关掉我的博客，轻轻地关掉全世界。
轻轻的告诉自己，我的世界里不会再有他。

continuation of lust

To be continued

she lured him into the fittin room, wif a mischievous smirk and two buttons undone frm her dress.he moved closer, grabbed her waist and left a string of scorchin kisses along her throat. as he sealed her lips to his wif a sweet suction, she swayed slightly, rubbin her hips against the fly of his pants. he was blissfully aroused by the time she took his hardness to her mouth wif so sweet a yearnin. lickin away every forbidden desire, every ragin thirst for her sins..(written by Inoka)...

(and continued)...

He slid his hands thru the luscious strands of her hair, clasping the back of her head. He guided her burning lips to match his momentum, rocking his hips to match her sunken cheeks. He gazed down upon her, watching her head bob furiously against his groin, her eyes glazed in ecstasy. Gripping his thighs for support, she quickened her pace, driving him deeper and faster into her mouth. The sensation was driving him insane, his mind in a mad swirl, lost in time and space. She could feel his thigh muscles tensing up, becoming harder as she fastened her pace, turning her on even more. Finally she heard him swore and he slid himself out of her, pulling himself away from her.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her arms and pulled her up against the mirror. Looking straight into her eyes, he spoke with such intensity that she swore could tear her soul apart.

"I want you".

The words shot thru her like a stroke of lighting and her pelvis trembled with uncontrollable desire....

xplosive and sexy.. i couldnt haf continued it better.. =)

wissy

when myths fades, wiss became a gal who naturally disappeared.
she had ceased to exist. it was not suicide, yet a cruel sudden death.
it was an error, someting they cant quite explain, in words or actions.

fuck you very much acclaim!

forbidden truth

"Stepping closer to her, he placed both hands on her slender shoulders. He lowered his head till his nose was nearly touching her head and took a deep breath. The scent of her hair was entralling, like the scent of a thousand flowers interwined together in the most beautiful unsion. He slid his hands along her shoulders, sliding down slowly along her arms till he found her palms. She responded, interlocking her fingers with his, letting him embrace her. She leaned back against his body, nestling her head just below his jaw. She had never felt so much comfort in a long time." written by Liquidfire

mr lf, am not quite up to writin like yrs, love like a fairy tale. the kind we imagined to be real. or perhaps its me. i jus dun remember once upon a fuckin time or understand any happily ever aft. i nvr found em but sometimes, i still look. yeah u shld try writin full time.

she lured him into the fittin room, wif a mischievous smirk and two buttons undone frm her dress.
he moved closer, grabbed her waist and left a string of scorchin kisses along her throat. as he sealed her lips to his wif a sweet suction, she swayed slightly, rubbin her hips against the fly of his pants. he was blissfully aroused by the time she took his hardness to her mouth wif so sweet a yearnin. lickin away every forbidden desire, every ragin thirst for her sins..

erm, i duuno how to continue. lolx

realm of silence

今天是你的生日。除了希望你会快乐，
我不晓得可以对你说的还剩些什么。
我始终，还是欠了一句，对不起。

不再

当心彻底死去的时候，我不知道，我还剩下了什么。

如果有一天，你能再走进我的世界，你一定会流泪，

因为那里都是你给的悲伤。

carpe diem

the past weeks ive been havin terrible emotions and my mind has been thinkin a lot. past, present or even future. cant believe it or cant accept it, i couldnt realli tell the difference. the future, im not quite ready. i cant see em at all. my past, the memories still so strict. ive yet to forget and let go. i seriously wonder is thr anywhr else i could be.. my soul dat used to bling bling doesnt shine anymore. i wonder if i could sparkle again. truth is, i wan to feel happier, i wan to be happy. but the more i pursue, the less it is within my grasp.

you saw all dat, din you lizzie? thr are so many kind words in dat card dat healed me at least once. readin it, i almost burst into tears. lotsa drops of pain and sorrow i drank when all dat was written was all dat i couldnt achieved. den silently i told myself my pain is no big deal. its no big deal, its no big deal.. no big deal. keep repeatin til its real. my life depends on tis. suddenly i realised its all abt tis, me tryin not to die.

i noe hope is onli an illusion but i guess, its time to be brave.

fade

mirror, mirror on the fuckin wall. who is the fairest of em all? “you dunno..” dats wat yr ans would be. well, lemme tell you a little secret. its not her..

screamin silently in pain on a daily expense. cryin in absolute vain became a bad habit. all these unbearable sadness, is onli drivin her insane. pls, she needs help. she prayed for amnesia. otherwise, pls gif her more pain den she could handle. make her hurt more. she is almost dead now anyway. tis pain is too much for her to take. can barely see. can hardly even breath.

she noes you do not want her here.
she will disappear she will disappear..

death would be merciful.

baby, when you think abt dat girl whose gone and dat moments lived forever. she hope you smile.

you will remember her de hor?

fools comfort

the sudden crash of thunder, those sudden movements and all the loud noises . ive become unused to it. i startle easily. i dunno why. i gotta stop the intruders. stop tryin to steal all dat is left in me. stop stealin my mind away.

i hate tis. i realli and truly hate all these..

fuck!

be..yond repa.....ir

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

i read tis somewhr

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

i tink it make sense

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

a broken heart is like a broken mirror

it is better to leave it broken den hurt yrself tryin to fix it

Yvonne says:

wear glove to fix it lor

Yvonne says:

hurt is lessen

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

like dat oso can

Yvonne says:

=p

Yvonne says:

tell me got crack i can accept lah

Yvonne says:

nt to fix it i dun agree

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

haiz

Yvonne says:

but a cracked mirror which serves its purpose is nt all that bad

Yvonne says:

is whether u can accept looking at a crack mirror not

ive always thot thr will be enuff time, for wateva it was i was supposed to fix, given time.. but now i noe thr nvr was. cracked or broken, is irrelevant. either way, its still flawed. willin or not, eventualli discarded.

ive found my mirror.
all dat is left to do is break it.

depleted cure

am not talkin to myself

i hear the demon and angel debatin
they talk and talk and talk
so many of those i could i will i must not
on and on and on

their rantin is obvious
cant ignore em
so much to listen
so much noting
the truth they speak is everywhr
cept whr it belongs

it always come back deeper den it left
it still weights so much

turn off the monitor lights
stop seein wat isnt thr

let me go
i need to fall

sorrow is E.X.Q.U.I.S.I.T.E

kindness (inspired by jacin)
a compilation of whispers
dat are voiced
comin frm the heart

i dun realli remember or recognise ever bein truly happy. i do remember times i was distracted frm my discontent like durin fabulous sex. hehz. its not exactly depression. not quite sadness. mayb its jus who i am. i actualli take delight in genuine sorrow. not jus the sort dat comes frm bein hurt mentally, not jus frm bad gossips or love issues, not the kind of sadness frm personal problems. im talkin abt the sorrow shared wif the hoverin grey clouds dat gather outside the window on stormy evenins. even fallen leaves sadden me at times. generally, i is fell in love wif the sorrow dat builds up inside hearts becos there are no ans to the important qns of the loneliest. lets jus conclude dat mayb my memory is defective and it only saves the bad stuff. im sure thr haf to haf been good old happy times. thr haf to haf been and its my fault becos i haf forgotten how to remember em.

fallen (inspired by scarlet)
spiralin down slowly
slippin deeply
towards our deaths

i guess wat realli drove u or even me, more den misery is vanity. to be loved enuff and i supposed thr will be no happiness to be found in anyone until we first find it in ourselves. erm dat is, if we ever do. so at times, mayb it will be easier to live wif yrself if you can bypass the whole livin aspect. sometimes its better to be wat you haf become den to be who you are. dats wat i became. i fell in love wif sorrows, it became part of me. is like if you are out in the middle of the ocean you can try to swim back to shore, but whether you do or whether you dun is of little consequence. either way, you drown. its merely a matter of preference decidin if you want to die tryin or jus let it happen.

our CLOSURE

frm the moment we fell in love. it all went wrong. it always has been. becos i made it so. we started out wantin jus a little and soon we duuno how to escape it. even when we knew we had too much. i thot i was punishin myself when i left. i jus never imagined it could matter to him as well. sadly, he told me wat i needed to hear, and i believed him. coz i can hear him. everyting he never said. i cant make it rite, wouldnt even try. mayb im jus waitin for the rite time to say i dun remember..

so dun u remember, dun u dare. its not ours to keep anymore..

close enuff to happiness to noe tis wasnt it..

一直处于迷茫中，有一种感情无法对身边人诉说，因它来的那么突然，那么不该。但却又是那么真实。这种关系，有点暧昧，却不见得过分。倒像是我们之间原本就有的默契或者是谁欠了谁的，所以心甘情愿。我和他，看起来比友谊多，做起来又比爱情少。彼此需要才是存在的理由吧。一开始就知道没有结果，却傻傻的愿意在相互之间穿梭盘旋，让心中一直模糊的影子在现实中慢慢清晰。但，我们最终还是不同世界的人。

有人说，想永远拥有一份爱情的办法就是失去它。现在说出了，我们却疏远了。疏远的，连我们都不知道究竟是为什么。原本还可以当没变的我们，却疏远了。原来有些感情一旦冲出，我们便只能选择从此陌路。好像真的回不去了，因为我们其实都已经不再拥有最初的情感。我的执著与他的不肯定已经把我们改变了。

我也不知道怎么说。但要忘记一个很喜欢，很在乎，为他哭过的人，也许一辈子也忘不了。只有劝自己说。爱他，就希望他幸福。所以只有选择默默的，静静的，回忆着和他一起的开心，而不去打扰他。因为现在的我相信最深刻，最刻骨铭心的爱，不一定会陪着我们到老。。

说到这里，我心快被撕裂了。他，却依然看不见。

he was my fantasy
till he became reality
and disappeared

沉

its so easy to be ignorant when tucked onto a pillow, aslp. peaceful wif no trace of worries to see. its easy to find perspective in such beautiful loneliness. there are no heroes here. no villains. jus me. waitin for dream fairies to be lenient, bestowin me my deserved happily ever after...

两年

i cant.

you wont..

HOW?

me

I feel her loneliness, her emptiness and at the same time her longing for love that she somehow cannot achieve. I wonder has she lost faith in love or just that the "one" for her is lost somewhere? Or maybe the love she lusts for, does not exist in this realistic, cruel world at all......

你的担忧，我读不到一半，哭了。

你 想对我说的，我都明白。我不是没努力尝试去忘记该忘的，想忘的。结果还是徒劳无功的把那遗憾记的更清楚。我也很想在这深不见底的迷惘里，找个理由，让自己 浮上来。可，偏偏我却只找到了一大堆的理所当然，继续往下沉。可能我真的已经慢慢习惯，习惯了迷茫的活着，习惯了窒息的味道，习惯了那种慢慢下沉的感觉。

对你们而言，我感染的是伤感的疾病。一个已终生不愈的疾病。对我，那是我仅剩还可依赖的虚幻梦境。也正因为想一直留在这梦里，我就要习惯一个人。最后，我能为自己做的，是将那永远无法填补的空缺留下来。抱着它留给我的痛，安分守己的与心底最深处相依为命。。

empty abyss

i haf no idea how he look like, feel like, taste like.
yet, he is all i can tink of..
wake me up pls, i do not wan to dream any more.

it was noting beautiful.

two strangers catch eachother’s names,

yearnin for a story to begin.

it was a beautiful noting.

two strangers fall in love.

and den forget, eachother.

it was noting anyway.

jus strangers, in lover's clothes.

noting to say realli. everyting's a void. everyting's blank.
i guess if the feelin isnt real enuff for us to hold on to,
theres oways the option to let it fall.

空

saw tis online and i wonder..

A focus on existence
Existentialism tends to focus on the question of human existence — the feeling that there is no purpose, indeed nothing, at the core of existence. Finding a way to counter this nothingness, by embracing existence, is the fundamental theme of existentialism, and the root of the philosophy's name. Given that someone who believes in reality might be called a "realist", and someone who believes in a deity might be called a "deist", therefore someone who believes fundamentally only in existence, and seeks to find meaning in his or her life solely by embracing existence, is an existentialist.

am i? do i? can i? will i?

liz used to say when her pal gets drunk, she goes on autopilot. lets jus say wifout the influence of alcohol, is it possible to put ones self on autopilot mode? to shut down ones mind and move at a routine pace like a zombie or a robot. to tink of nothin. to see nothin. to feel nothin. to be nothin. to perceive wat one is told to tink. to witness wat one is onli supposed to see. to feel nothin and nothin seen. no emotions involved. no wilds thots destroyin the soul. nothin felt. a mere numb machine.

yes, if onli..

too deep..

我似无法好起来，
也没决定要往哪走。
所以，不能答应让你陪我。

08 and nothing else..

so now its 2008's eve. the very one nite its acceptable to drink as much as you wan. the very nite whr you make merry, pass out den wake up to a whole new yr. its jus begun and you can do watever you wan wif it..

frens are sendin me wishes for my new yr resolutions. pple make resolutions. to becum wat they perceive as “better pple”. ive nvr been able to make resolutions. i nvr could resolve anyting. not myself. nor anyone. the changin of dates, days, years, watever, nvr seemed to haf much impact, cept dat im sadden by being another yr older. sighz.. jus numerical and labels. guess dats wat they are. imaginary sign posts in our minds we use to reassure ourselves abt how far we haf gone.

why celebrate how one year melts into the nxt? so we could pretend it can help us alter ourselves when in reality, it only emphasizes how very stagnant we all are… everyting ard me is in constant flux and yet, we use festives like tis to tell ourselves we do change and perhaps can change. but the truth is, we are the one ting dat doesnt.

aww whr shall i go when this 2007 ends as it is nearin dat closure. circle back to the start. i hafta go, but whr can i go? whr does it lead me? i seriously dunno..

beautiful sorrows

深夜了，却突然醒来怎么也睡不着。

心里总觉得有些凉，或许是下雨的关系。因为雨天会让人觉得孤独。也或许是我太累了。累了是不需要理由的，人说累了不怕，怕只怕心累了。我不想再背负那么重的包袱，真的不想！好想告别一切的一切，一走了之，在也不回头。。

搞不清楚这是一种什么状况，总之很烦闷很压抑，找不到合适的方式来释放和理解。好像有许许多多的话想说，却不知要从何说起。不知道怎么去说，是不是就是无话可说的感觉？

天啊，要如何才能练到心如止水那种无上的境界？也许，心里能装着一些时间带不走的淡淡悲伤，也是一种属于自己的幸福。。

Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.
~ Dag Hammarskjold ~

挫

Death is patiently making my mask as I sleep. Each morning I awake to discover in the corners of my eyes the small tears of his wax. ~ Philip Dow ~

a funny ting happened on my way to recovery.

i didnt.

i imagine the healthy beats of my heart. as loud as i can. but still, nuthin changes. one step at a time i whisper.. one little step at a time, to breathe again.

im not dyin..
im not dyin.

not yet.

他说 its time to reformat..

姓高说的是电脑，我心在想的却是。。
要怎么像电脑一样，轻而易举的重装系统。
删除那些让自己扰人的记忆，让自己过得比较平静。。

人脑 reformat，真的行吗？

hk 2

they say distance nvr separates two hearts dat realli care, for memories span the miles and in seconds they will be thr. but i miss him when i was on the plane, when i was in hongkong the whole time. whenever i start feelin lost cuz i miss him, i remind myself how lucky i am to haf someone so special to miss..

on our way to hotel, no one was tokin at all.. i knew it will be tis way til we go home.

our pathetic room dat costed $300 per nite. Its so small!! breakfast i heard frm gary, was realli bad. the thot of me havin to share tis tiny room wif dat weirdo patricia, i nearly fainted..

Me and gary din realli noe whr to eat outside the exhibition area, so we walk aimlessly tryin to find food. saw the first cafe, we went in. i wonder if its owned by some mafia. lolx…

surprisingly the food was not bad at all.. i tink the best 小笼包 i ever had were these!! so much better den 鼎太峰!!! but eatin in hongkong is not cheap at all.. faintz

came across tis front of a pet shop when i went shoppin alone, i stopped and stared at it for the longest time. i realli like the 亲切感 frm the concept. awwww.. will i haf my own pet shop eventualli?

i nvr like the idea of eatin alone. infact i dun. yet alone on the streets, i reckon i din haf much choices. i went in to a 茶餐厅 and ordered an egg sandwich, red bean shake and started eatin, alone! despite all dat, my dinner was realli nice though..

dats me and realli nice gal, emily (long hair) and stupid patricia (in blue) who pissed gary off.. lolx. Aiya long story to tell here.

can u believe it when i said, no we did not have breakfasts, lunches and dinners wif patricia? not even once. mayb she hates us. maybe she has ugly eatin habits! anyway, for $20 sgd, i had a realli sumptuous beef steamboat dinner wif gary.

me and gary walkin and walkin to no whr.. i was realli tired..

stupid gary brought me to a cafe before we head off to airport on the last day, not to eat but to take pictures! faintz! dat was the so called famous cafe in hongkong but to me.. deco so so onli! TWG new café will look like tis? 天啊!

“Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human? Pointless, really…Do the stars gaze back? Now that’s a question…”

dats the openin line for the movie stardust. watched it on the plane back frm hk.. strongly recommended by gary. and true enuff, its realli quite a charmin movie! endin of tis movie is very much xpected, a happily ever aft..

“You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. ” ~ Yvaine

time to shine!

hk

sumtimes you cant be taken to whr u wish or not to go.

no matter how hard you pull and push.

uninterested or afraid to go.

it probably doesnt matter.

you not free to choose.

bloom

i wonder why are roses so often compared to love…

mayb bcoz like love, their significance xists onli in the givin ba i guess. im not askin to be loved. i can do dat on my own. yet, the romantic nature of someone so sweet to me, who unselfishly sends me roses on non occasions, my heart dances. the mere idea of someone being so thoughtful, no strings attached, jus to take the time and effort to make me happy, jus blows me away!

fallen

我的无可奈何，你一点都不肯去体谅，还字字带刺。想把我哽到窒息，是你的用心良苦吗？只剩从心底深处发出的叹息，你听见了吗？

heavy wif sorrow
one by bitter one
they fall
till my exhausted heart
is stilled

mo chridhe

原来,我从来都没曾放下过。。

slpless inspiration

Jason & Chyuan
on the smokers porch
complaints snuffed
by a passin train

The Girls
6 gone 1
5 split 2
left lonely 3

Joey
dreamy on my pillow
miles away
he sings me to sleep

Madeline
obviously evilish
sitting there
oways wonderin
oways plannin
her next victim

i read a very wise phrase in the web:
“Nobody deserves your tears, and whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”

KL Beauty Expo 7

frm the time i leave hm for KL until i arrive back home i vacillates between disgust and amusement for havin to deal wif the endless masses of moronic behavior frm my VP.. of coz, i dun tink lizzie was spared frm the torture as well.. she was waken by her snorin so many times per nite! grrr... it wasnt an easy trip coz time crawls when we were thr.. luckily lizzie was wif me.. wat else can i ask for?

lizzie and myself makin ourselves very comfy in the first class coach for the 5 hrs long journey up to KL.. its not dat bad la, wif onli 16 single seaters wif massage functions + personal dvd player!

got seat belts somemore k! haha!

for a moment i thot i was on board a plane when over the speaker, “… tis is blah blah blah, yr cabin crew at yr service..” faintz.. got steward to serve coffee, tea and meal! not very appetizin la but can’t haf too high expectation i guess..

reached hotel and tis caught my attention coz i no get it.. i no get it at all la.. wats wif the menu description!! gearbox soup with spare parts?? funny pple wif funny culture!! or rather very "interestin" marketin??

absolutely in love wif tis pic! took it while we went for a quick shoppin at KLCC..

mus showcase our booth! it was in bad shape when we arrived and after some cleanin n etc, it turn out not bad la.. quite presentable. all we do whole time thr was jus stand & stand, sell & sell.. retailin is hard work man.. to those retail pple out thr, i salute you! i promise to be nicer to you! haha..