独角亲情戏

因为太在乎，
所以让自己过得非常疲倦。
于其说疲倦，倒不如说厌倦。
所以我宁愿一个人生活，
一个人轰轰烈烈的接受事实，
一个人看潮起潮落，
一个人去过最艰难的这关。
也不要她平平淡淡的以我为耻。

今天只想说这些。

不再兑现

you tell lies as if i was deaf
i hear them anyway
i was too naive assuming you will come clean
all these time of allowing you to disappoint me
didnt you notice i have changed
oka maybe you win
i cant fight you any longer
i had been trying and trying to pretend
but it has become apparent that i cant fucking do it
so

i quit

4.32 am 的长途电话

他说那边正在下雨。还说除了我喜欢的雨天，一切都很美。是的，也许一切都很美，也许生活真的很美，我只是没有感觉到而已。跟他聊了些有的没的，说起十年前的我们，好遥远，却觉得那个时候好幸福。本以为这只是个单纯的问候来电，他竟说，这些年虽然断了联系，只要触碰到某个与我有关的细节，还是依然无法放下思念。只因，我曾是他心中的最爱。现在好不容易又见面了，不知还有没有机会重来。我沉默了。他突如其来的坦白让我措手不及。是不是只要当初我没迈出离开那一步，我们就能相安无事，就能幸福。

never was

信任：是指相信而敢于托付。

Yvonne says: i was thinking about this....
Yvonne says: does it feel more hurt to have someone u truly love betray you
Yvonne says: or feel worse to have someone whom you dun love a lot, but u trusted wholeheartedly to betray you

选择欺骗的那个，背后一定有一个动人的故事。至于故事的内容，对被骗的那个已经不再重要。不知是否因为过去的打击太大，现在相信一个人都不会久。为何我不能像当初那样。为何自己会变得这么无法信任。无论如何，信任会令人容易受伤。所剩下的信念已寥寥无几，真的好可怕。我一直在想，一个什么样的人，才值得信任？信任一个人，到底需要多久的时间？不明白不明白。或许我已经丧失了信人的能力，只是现在才发现。

仅有的那点恋恋不舍

“I forget how much I loved her. How deep it was, how completely devouring it was to be so head over heels, totally and unconditionally in love with her. If I ever get to the point of falling in love again, I will draw her portraits, so that there will always be proof of her worth to me, for her to hold.”

appear OFFLINE

别再问我为何喜欢如此。
没有什么特别的理由。
隐形，只是我恋上的一个习惯。
喜欢有一种把自己丢了的感觉来隐形。
喜欢把自己放在一个安静的角落来隐形。
没有故事，没有解释。
也许我一直都在，只是你看不见。

its okay if you hate me. i can deal with it.
or at least i imagine i could.

魔

† L'ange Sans Ailes † says: do u believe in demons?

Inoká says: yes
Inoká says: and they only come to u when its dark and alone.

there was something in the silence between his words that made me stop and stare at that darkness we both knew so well. it was more than a little shocking to see those words typed out loud even i do know that demons are always lurking in the dark watching us, waiting for us to succumb and let them in. and i believed if we look in the darkness and not through them, we would see forever..

Don't part with your illusions.
When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. ~ Mark Twain

悄悄离了

她：不知道他对我的爱会不会随着时间而消失？

虽然不必猜，我也不知道该怎么回答。因为时间的确可以让爱慢慢走向淡漠，乃至消失。我已经不问会爱多久。因为我发现地久天长只是童话的笑话，现实世界根本没有海誓山盟的爱情。瞬间海枯石烂的话谁都会说，听在心里的会记一辈子，说的那个可能早已忘得一干二净。

最重要的男人

as a child i have this idea that my parents, especially my dad, knows how everything is done. i always had this idea that no matter what happened he knew what to do. it wasnt until i got much older that i realised he did not know everything, he just had to do everything to protect and raise his kids.

today i dedicate this post to my daddy, someone who is kind, gentle and very thoughtful. someone who is my source of strength, someone i love very dearly. HAPPY BIRTHDAY daddy!

共婵娟

真的好想
摘下夜空里的月亮
小心翼翼把它折起
安慰忧伤的心

可我不能

所以有一天我死了
我定要飞奔那月宫
化成来世的眼睛
目睹嫦娥奔月的孤单

—样的消失

the medicine is not making me any better and some nights im so tired i seriously wonder if im dead, which i guess is why i have been thinking about the dead a lot more lately. on how they must had felt, the terror and regret of accepting they were mortal. that they will be gone for eternity and others will go on without them. today i was awake fondling my thoughts on trying to remember what a dead relative or friend sounded like. im not trying to find, only attempting to prove that they still lives in my heart. but, i cant quite remember their voice at all. perhaps its better that way. erm what if im going to die tomorrow, will you remember mine?

就算死，我也会牵着你的手。

就算错了

有没有人曾经告诉你，爱着时，女人总会说一些狠话，一些过份的话。因为，她不知道那个男人爱得深浅。所以，她就赌，赌她的那个男人能承受的极限。说穿了，是想赌那个男人爱自己的极限。其实，我好像也在赌。赌我的他能容忍我多少？赌他对我的爱有多深。其实只是想要试探他有多不能没有我而已。我不是不知道，如果赌赢了，我也许就能拥有幸福。如果赌输了，我就一定得到无限的痛苦。就算如此，我还是愿意去赌。因为我要知道他的爱，清清楚楚的知道。

为此，我为自己的愚蠢输得彻底。

自己活该

不晓得从多久以前，
我开始把自己小心的保护起来。
所有的悲伤都选择一个人扛，
直到自己崩溃，直到自己也无能为力。

今天，我放弃学会已久的隐藏。
今天，我卸下了虚伪的微笑。
今天，我摆出一张疲倦的脸。
今天，我狠狠的放声哭泣。

我想，我是真的累了。
我想，我该试着寻找出路。

从此，我愿只是个游戏人间的戏子。

jaded

i feel so sick today and slept thru mostly. yet i was forced to wake blindly at wee hours, struggling to complete my key accounts management report which is due tomorrow morning. its almost 3am now and im not even close to being done. gosh. how much more can i do this?! surrender seems to be the best option. think im going back to bed..


dumb dumb report

“The brave men that stayed and fought had to be very skilled so they could live to fight another day, or else they died.”

one day, i will meet you here

had someone really spoken to me way before about the ways in which good lifestyle habits could make aging go away i would have most likely paid closer attention, or maybe not. as much as i hate to admit to myself, i guess age is catching up with me. with bruises and muscle issues that do not heal over night the way that they used to, looking in the mirror and see that i am not who i used to be. i look different, feels different.. actually, none of this really matters much, only occasionally i feel like pieces of me are being taken away and no matter how hard i try, i cannot prevent this! tragic, just tragic. what else can i say.. boo!

soul & ashes

close your eyes and dream with me in this unexpected rainy season, that may be the closest you ever get. this kind of rain, i do not mind. as only when the rain stop, the cage will be gone with enchantment left to know how intentionally broken we are at times before we allow ourselves to forget ourselves. so now, we live happily ever after...

stay with me
broken pieces jumbled
together in search for chaotic bliss

paint with me
pictures of past lovers
let our beautiful souls fly free

dance with me
into the shadow of mortality
forgetting together our sanity

kill with me
steal my breath counting rainbows
in ecstasy among the living dead

thanks for remembering my birthday. if angels forget you, did you really exist? what if years later, you buys a mirror and tries to nurse your battered soul and loving yourself more only to discover that you doesnt exist?

愁更愁

she missed talking to him. she wants to talk to him, but she dont have the slightest idea what they would have to say. she knows she could stop if she wanted to. drunken nights, her perfect excuse for missing him, is nothing unfamiliar with for her. she used to do it on purpose. she drank until it was empty, she drank until she was empty. sighz. maybe self destruction is so much more appealing then simply being destroyed.

有时候，醉与不醉，只有自己知道。

soul speaks

Tear it down,
Your fake honesty
Take it away,
Your idle hypocrisy

Stop it now,
Your pretty lies
Shatter it all,
Your empty promises

Let me be,
A disappointed slumber
Let me be,
My imperfect dreams

by l’ange sans ailes

unable to look away, unable to speak. silently, i read his latest work, again and again..

it was what he wrote. where i was staring from here. something far away from here that he understood. a great notion. then, it was gone. i drifted. he drifted. we drifted.. nothing we say or write will make disappointment go away. we just need to realise that before it break our souls apart unknowingly.

s.w.o.o.s.h.i.n.g expectations

its been raining for many days, on and off, outside and inside. everything before and after my birthday is saturated and heavy. i dont really feel at home with myself these days. sort of like im not really me. everything i knew had carried me this far. the truth drifting in and out, and in and out like whispers i must pretend i do not hear. so lonely this way. im not complaining. im just stating. i seem to expect people to disappoint me. its my natural tendency. disappointment is what i was prepared for. it truly is an affliction. one that i can never cure. or rather im not even remotely sure i would want to cure.

realising, it doesnt really matter, does it?

卸下了

my birthday came and went in disappointment. wishes dont work. boo..

i am such a foolish girl sometimes.
i think, in my foolish head, that if i think really hard i could send out telepathic miracles to make everything alright again. silly silly me.. you know what? i am not even going to bother anymore.
no more cryptic messages, no more signals, no more telling how i truly feels. sighz..

whatever.

要命的感觉

i am so…

in pain.
in doubt.

and extremely

exhausted.

简单爱

even now, though he is silent, accompanying beside while i blog, i hear his breathing. it has settled in my heart somewhere. i can listen to it in moments like these. he can stay near me this way for hours, his cutest face when i tickle him a little. where else can i find this blessing of pure love, without any apologies..

原来，爱真的可以很简单。

mere sex fools

how do you make love to a toy.
or rather how do you fuck a toy.
one wrong distracting shot.
that is all it fucking takes.
to drain the life out of that toy.
it does not matter maybe.
after all, that toy will only be, just a toy.

又能怎样？

体无完肤

my left thumb has a torn ligament from hitting "space" too hard and too often. my heart has a unbearable void from missing "you" too much and too often. im in so much pain. and non of which you can ease.

nothing in between

爱得真，爱得纯，爱得深。
不会有欺骗，不会有伤害。

一个人撑

consider it a whisper that you didnt really hear.
still im going to say it anyway.
its scary to take full responsibility for myself.
i could just as easily have meant,
its actually really sad for me,
to feel so shitty, all over in my head..

错

tears fallen on sealed lips
hiding inescapable regrets
unquestionable pain
sadness beyond measure
sorrows that might never ever be buried

。
。

。

。

我怎么可以如此的残忍

contusion elsewhere

my newest bruised spot hurt massively when von poked it this morning. i actually saw stars and almost passed out. ok, overly exaggerating a fair bit here. still, it was very sore to the lightest touch. i was very sensitive and extremely careful not to let anyone come close at all.. yet, as much as it hurts, im grateful for having this pain. it is a reminder of bruises i had previously that faded, pain that subsided and eventually disappeared. i do know my heart will go through this pain with the bruised spot waiting for its very own recovery..

我没有哭，我只是在流泪。

reversed heartbeats

i see the way u love me,
i just never write it down.
one blink and its all gone.
its strange how that happens,
too often.

so with nothing left to try,
i decided to close my eyes.
not to sleep or to hide,
but to feel vulnerable.
i closed my eyes,
i exhaled.
and i shut you out.

遗忘你我才可以拯救我自己。

bitter soda

"It seems to me that almost all our sadness are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." - Rainer Maria Rilke

i am angry
i am disappointed
i fucking hate you

反反複複

DONT say anything if you dont fucking meant it at all!

there are only that many times i can allow someone to let me down before i cant handle the disappointment anymore. when things change, people change, it simply means accepting things were not meant to be. there is a point in life when i get tired of chasing the truth from the heart. trying to fix everything because ive come to realise that in the end, everyone turns out to be the person they swore they will never become.

好陌生。。。。。

heaven of death

和大伙吃饭时谈起了西藏。
西藏你去过了吗？
西藏，那是一个什么样的地方？
曾听很多的人说过，最梦想去西藏。
那是一个离蓝天白云最近的地方。
似伸出手就可以抓住整个世界。
但对我而言，西藏，即可怕而又神秘。
因为许多人说过，在那里若是病了，容易引起休克。
我是一个生来大病小病不断的女人。
如去了，会因感冒而客死异乡，肯定不能活着回来。
我想，也许有一天，我会去西藏。
去看看所谓的人间天堂，然后选择死亡。

绕来绕去，终

there is nothing gain from the where do we go from here.
and the lets try it all again is not going to work either.
other then knowing alone is better.
we can only find our own way to atonement.
to remember this love when it matters most.
so lets just move on from here.
as this is the only way out.

for the both of us.

buy myself a reason

医：把烟戒了吧。
我：不要。

有人说过抽烟的女人往往都是有好多故事，我好像深信这句话。烟对于我是一种心理的需要。静静的点一支烟，深深地吸上一口，是一种满足。它可以把那些想忘的，不想忘的，通通吸进肺里，然后灰飞烟灭。。

工作

this is all there is on my new work desk. nothing fancy, just essentials. current boss mentioned to me before this company function like a big happy family. booo! so untrue. most co-workers are damn self-centered. abit abit complain, plenty of arrows flying around. love is definitely not in the air. i miss the girls… rawr!!

von and me in this really pretty washroom during our recent visit to our client in bukit timah area. plenty of driving around for me. so tiring and im beginning to hate driving! grrr.. mc today, back to work tomorrow. dangz.. TGIF!!

对自己说的

天將降大任於斯人也，必心磨其心智，勞其筋骨。

早已麻木

my feet are numb
my tummy feels numb
even my left thumb is numb
im feeling numb
in every places except where i would like to be
on second thought
exhale lightly
maybe i should treasure these numb moments
they might be the only ones i will ever truly feel

if someone asked you
where would you spend eternity
how would you answer

极限

10 fucking mins has passed.
a couple is still yelling at each other.
the shouting outside my window is so depressing.
im tempted to close my curtains, again.
so i dont have to deal with it.

given another 10 mins,
the man might stab the woman in the heart with a kitchen knife.
she would be crushed and bled to death, wide eyes open.
realizing he was still very much in love with her, jumps to his death.

maybe i should call the cops.
no, i should just let them strangle each other.

15 mins,
all was suddenly silent.
i wondered if that was the sound of letting go.

simon says forget

you cant when you try fucking hard
you will when you actually give up

boo!

fallen petals

them

two women met
old friends maybe
with nothing in common anymore
except the man between them
and their past

i cant remember the last time
we spoke on the phone

you said you want to quit smoking
i cant register the words
can you quit me instead
because the heart that beats for you
is suddenly silent

"There are no secrets in this world, only stories" – Mutiso

janelle's 1st month

feeding and sleeping at the same time. baby’s trademark? did not see much changes in her features, still as tiny in size and so pretty! i wonder if she dreams at all now..

shir and lizzie went to design and print the god-ma tees for us to wear. it was really cute the way our faces were sketched.. or rather animated? so comical, especially mine. haha..

its hardly a secret that i do not want to have a child yet. but today, carrying her in my arms close to my heart, with every little movements touches me in a way i havent experienced before, i actually felt the desire to be a mother. i couldnt believe my eyes. then again, i wrote these words myself. lolx..

just the 5 of us. we made a choice. we chose eachother. ladies who make me laugh, who chases me around the room and tries to chew my finger, ladies who are just as crazy under their beauty, who tells me to shut up when i should, who will be there when i need. and who i can be nothing but myself with. meme, ada, lizzie, joanne and shireen.

as cocky as it may sound. im going to say it anyway. i think we are all very cute! ha.

my 1731

im so falling in love!!
he is hot, he is smooth, he is cool and he is so mine!
he might not be as fast as the red evo and white wrx..
but YAY anyway!

*grinz*

rawrrrrrrrrrrr

i can handle bad hair day.
i can handle terrible traffic delay.
i can handle long flights without smoking.
i can definitely handle junk calls from people who wants to sell me shit i dont need.
BUT waking up to a modem that loses its connection,
no matter what i do,

i fucking lose my temper!

谈何容易

how can i let go of the questions i ask but was never answered?

drips twinkle

Breathtaking..

LF’s responses to my work had usually been mentally intense for me, always forcing my mind to wander deeper, distracting my laziness, bringing me steps closer to my next work. now reading this, i am lost. inescapably lost in this beautiful poem. all i felt was a feeling of calm and serenity. its like nothing could hurt, not here, not ever. hmm, very intoxicating.

Do not say sorry, for you are meant to err
Hold my hands and free yourself
That the thrills of soaring have been waiting
For you always had angel's wings

Do not say sorry, for you are meant to err
Rest in my arms to be in eternal nirvana
Kiss my eyes and your eyes shall never tear
And I shall lay with you and bear your sins

maybe if i stare at this poem long enough, i might actually convinced myself that its no longer painful..

drip by drip

was inspired and wrote this sometime back after reading Warrior by LF but did not post it as somehow it didnt feels right lolx. after a slight amendment earlier, still not good enough but well, here it goes..

i am sorry, i am only a human.
very restricted yet often wonder about the freedom of flying.
pretending i found liberty and the thrills of soaring.
convinced myself that i can flutter without angel’s wings.

i am sorry, i am only a human.
could you hug my imperfect state that i currently wallow in?
could you make the last tears gone and stop my suffering?
could you lay me down and forgive me for all my sins?

oh another one by LF that i screen-shot in a hurry. i supposed he did that one in like about 5 mins?

if you look close

你让我把
所有的难过
通通的悲伤
廉价卖给你
我的存货太满
要怎么卖
不是我不肯
而是你的包袱太小了
根本装不下

for her i will

she is growing older each day.
maybe one day she might.
maybe she never will.
still, i want to do my part.
and begin again, with proper spellings.

off divin board

Lex*King says:
kewel!
Lex*King says:
OPS! jewel i mean. =)
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
boo
Lex*King says:
how are you?
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
still alive?
Lex*King says:
damn! your blog brings heartache.
my heart aches for you with almost every single entries.
what happened to you princess?
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
am ok le..
Lex*King says:
but u sounded heartbroken.
who bullied u? tell me i’ll go punch him when i come back sg. =)
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
dun punch, kill can?
Lex*King says:
......
Lex*King says:
seriously, whoever it was who broke your heart,
it’s only a matter of time before he realized you were too good for him.
i just wish you could see it too. =)
and please stop wasting your beautiful eyes on someone who is blind.
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
wah?
Lex*King says:
just remember you deserved the best and only the best.
and he obviously weren't it.
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
wow..
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
wey some gals said dat to u issit lolx..
Lex*King says:
hell no! i’m a nice guy.
i don’t break girls’ heart. =)
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
lolx…
Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:
joyce? u broke her heart, i rem.. u ass..
Lex*King says:
shsss!

infact, jus weeks ago i was lookin for a rope to hang myself wif but rite now im mostly feelin ok, wif a hint of apathy. i duuno if its the anticipation of finalizin decisions/stuffs and the ‘lettin go’ part lingerin close or am mental blockin the sadness. at least glad im better already. tings are changin like they always do and the onli diff is dat i finalli learnt to forget. although tis isnt happiness yet but well, my life is turnin out to be not so miserable, aft all...

see, im right, men are all liars!

P.O the panda

kung fu panda is hilarious, it made me laff. so, kung fu panda is a good movie. at least for me. yet, aft the movie, i begin to feel life bores me. i wish thr was someting mystical wif special powers, elves, fairies, witches, fumin dragons even. anyting to lift our ordinary souls, to embrace extraordinary lives. how i wish i could perform someting special, not realli kung fu types but like communicate wif dogs, be invisible, predict random stuffs, read minds, telekinesis, mayb grow wings and fly.. instead, i read, write, shop, play games, eat and sleep. how borin. if onli thr was more den wat we actualli noe. wake up wake up, its impossible. if i do haf special powers, wun i be a super hero already savin the world? or mayb i do haf someting special aft all.. i haf compassion and the ability to forgive. bleahz.

in quenya, bfore headin off to bed, you say gdnite tis way..
ouel du. amin autien rath..

janelle

ta-dah! janelle, the lovely baby frm a perfect pair jason & joanne, was born 3^rd june, weightin at 2.8kg. or was it 28kg? omg 28 like alot. so shld be 2.8 lolx. wootz am officially a god-mummy!!

isnt she gorgeous? tiny fingers, tiny toes and a realli cute nose, she is so small and oh so very cute! her features pretty, it was a carbon copy of joanne. like mummy like daughter i guess.. i actualli wanted to hold her but dismissed the idea as was too afraid dat i might jus drop her if she starts wailin. lolx. ok, im not a baby person but i promise ill try to be the best god-ma!

a baby changes tings and life will nvr be the same am sure, even slp will become a ‘mayb’ for the new parents. while searchin for wat makes their hearts twirl, the future oso meant a time of great stress and readjustment for the 3Js. but yeah, like wat they say, all is worthy as janelle grows to be the sweetest gal, healthy and blessed wif good tings in life. so buckle up JJs, its time for the ride of yr lives!

im sure jus like me, von cant wait for her to grow more and hear her cute giggles. i wonder if its realli gonna be wif ‘ga ga’s and ‘goo goo’s like ive seen wif most babies and their parents. but i dun tink i will start playin wif the many ‘aahin’s, ‘ooh ga ga’s and silly peek-a-boo’s.. ha!

like an angel, she enchants everyone and most of us spent time lingerin ard her temporary crib, tryin to catch a glimpse of her, half closed eyes and smilin. her adorable smile took most of our breaths away, even though her cries gave me a headache, bleah. and oh, besides me, tis little princess has gotten herself 3 other god-mummies to show her the world and shower her wif plenty of hugs and kisses. i bet she can feel the love oready!

彻底看清

如果真的要骗，为何不把猫尾藏好一点？
如果真需要骗，为何还是要让我发现？

他的自以为可以瞒天过海，他的被发现后的理直气壮，让人很讨厌。
因为不能再被他的谎言杀得片甲不留，我将选择用那 “眼不见为净”的苦训，把他从心底连根拔起。所以我会删除关于他的一切。埋葬不了他，至少可以埋葬自己。埋葬不了过去，至少可以埋葬现在。我也会逼自己断绝所有可能的退路，来保证从此不见。也许男人根本便是世上最不可信的动物。什么东西最可靠？什么东西最信得过？最可信的，其实也只有自己了。

累了。轻轻地关掉我的博客，轻轻地关掉全世界。
轻轻的告诉自己，我的世界里不会再有他。

continuation of lust

To be continued

she lured him into the fittin room, wif a mischievous smirk and two buttons undone frm her dress.he moved closer, grabbed her waist and left a string of scorchin kisses along her throat. as he sealed her lips to his wif a sweet suction, she swayed slightly, rubbin her hips against the fly of his pants. he was blissfully aroused by the time she took his hardness to her mouth wif so sweet a yearnin. lickin away every forbidden desire, every ragin thirst for her sins..(written by Inoka)...

(and continued)...

He slid his hands thru the luscious strands of her hair, clasping the back of her head. He guided her burning lips to match his momentum, rocking his hips to match her sunken cheeks. He gazed down upon her, watching her head bob furiously against his groin, her eyes glazed in ecstasy. Gripping his thighs for support, she quickened her pace, driving him deeper and faster into her mouth. The sensation was driving him insane, his mind in a mad swirl, lost in time and space. She could feel his thigh muscles tensing up, becoming harder as she fastened her pace, turning her on even more. Finally she heard him swore and he slid himself out of her, pulling himself away from her.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her arms and pulled her up against the mirror. Looking straight into her eyes, he spoke with such intensity that she swore could tear her soul apart.

"I want you".

The words shot thru her like a stroke of lighting and her pelvis trembled with uncontrollable desire....

xplosive and sexy.. i couldnt haf continued it better.. =)

wissy

when myths fades, wiss became a gal who naturally disappeared.
she had ceased to exist. it was not suicide, yet a cruel sudden death.
it was an error, someting they cant quite explain, in words or actions.

fuck you very much acclaim!

forbidden truth

"Stepping closer to her, he placed both hands on her slender shoulders. He lowered his head till his nose was nearly touching her head and took a deep breath. The scent of her hair was entralling, like the scent of a thousand flowers interwined together in the most beautiful unsion. He slid his hands along her shoulders, sliding down slowly along her arms till he found her palms. She responded, interlocking her fingers with his, letting him embrace her. She leaned back against his body, nestling her head just below his jaw. She had never felt so much comfort in a long time." written by Liquidfire

mr lf, am not quite up to writin like yrs, love like a fairy tale. the kind we imagined to be real. or perhaps its me. i jus dun remember once upon a fuckin time or understand any happily ever aft. i nvr found em but sometimes, i still look. yeah u shld try writin full time.

she lured him into the fittin room, wif a mischievous smirk and two buttons undone frm her dress.
he moved closer, grabbed her waist and left a string of scorchin kisses along her throat. as he sealed her lips to his wif a sweet suction, she swayed slightly, rubbin her hips against the fly of his pants. he was blissfully aroused by the time she took his hardness to her mouth wif so sweet a yearnin. lickin away every forbidden desire, every ragin thirst for her sins..

erm, i duuno how to continue. lolx

realm of silence

今天是你的生日。除了希望你会快乐，
我不晓得可以对你说的还剩些什么。
我始终，还是欠了一句，对不起。

不再

当心彻底死去的时候，我不知道，我还剩下了什么。

如果有一天，你能再走进我的世界，你一定会流泪，

因为那里都是你给的悲伤。

carpe diem

the past weeks ive been havin terrible emotions and my mind has been thinkin a lot. past, present or even future. cant believe it or cant accept it, i couldnt realli tell the difference. the future, im not quite ready. i cant see em at all. my past, the memories still so strict. ive yet to forget and let go. i seriously wonder is thr anywhr else i could be.. my soul dat used to bling bling doesnt shine anymore. i wonder if i could sparkle again. truth is, i wan to feel happier, i wan to be happy. but the more i pursue, the less it is within my grasp.

you saw all dat, din you lizzie? thr are so many kind words in dat card dat healed me at least once. readin it, i almost burst into tears. lotsa drops of pain and sorrow i drank when all dat was written was all dat i couldnt achieved. den silently i told myself my pain is no big deal. its no big deal, its no big deal.. no big deal. keep repeatin til its real. my life depends on tis. suddenly i realised its all abt tis, me tryin not to die.

i noe hope is onli an illusion but i guess, its time to be brave.

fade

mirror, mirror on the fuckin wall. who is the fairest of em all? “you dunno..” dats wat yr ans would be. well, lemme tell you a little secret. its not her..

screamin silently in pain on a daily expense. cryin in absolute vain became a bad habit. all these unbearable sadness, is onli drivin her insane. pls, she needs help. she prayed for amnesia. otherwise, pls gif her more pain den she could handle. make her hurt more. she is almost dead now anyway. tis pain is too much for her to take. can barely see. can hardly even breath.

she noes you do not want her here.
she will disappear she will disappear..

death would be merciful.

baby, when you think abt dat girl whose gone and dat moments lived forever. she hope you smile.

you will remember her de hor?

fools comfort

the sudden crash of thunder, those sudden movements and all the loud noises . ive become unused to it. i startle easily. i dunno why. i gotta stop the intruders. stop tryin to steal all dat is left in me. stop stealin my mind away.

i hate tis. i realli and truly hate all these..

fuck!

be..yond repa.....ir

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

i read tis somewhr

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

i tink it make sense

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

a broken heart is like a broken mirror

it is better to leave it broken den hurt yrself tryin to fix it

Yvonne says:

wear glove to fix it lor

Yvonne says:

hurt is lessen

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

like dat oso can

Yvonne says:

=p

Yvonne says:

tell me got crack i can accept lah

Yvonne says:

nt to fix it i dun agree

Inoká Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië! says:

haiz

Yvonne says:

but a cracked mirror which serves its purpose is nt all that bad

Yvonne says:

is whether u can accept looking at a crack mirror not

ive always thot thr will be enuff time, for wateva it was i was supposed to fix, given time.. but now i noe thr nvr was. cracked or broken, is irrelevant. either way, its still flawed. willin or not, eventualli discarded.

ive found my mirror.
all dat is left to do is break it.

depleted cure

am not talkin to myself

i hear the demon and angel debatin
they talk and talk and talk
so many of those i could i will i must not
on and on and on

their rantin is obvious
cant ignore em
so much to listen
so much noting
the truth they speak is everywhr
cept whr it belongs

it always come back deeper den it left
it still weights so much

turn off the monitor lights
stop seein wat isnt thr

let me go
i need to fall