truth hurts

tonite i came hm to a weird jelloe. he wasn't very into me. not too welcoming. hmm.. perhaps he's moody?? animals usualli stare directly at us onli briefly, den look away as if unnerved by somethin he saw n din fancy.. yet tonite, he stare at me right in the eyes for the longest time. i guess i wld nvr know why. he's a strange dog at times. but he is my dog, my onli comfort n i love him.. dat, im sure he's noes.

im xhausted all over, especially my soul. 3mths gone n i tot i was okay. i told von im okay le.
im not. too hard, it's jus too hard. how bitter do i wanna risk becomin by swallowin too many tears? cryin seems to me a perfect option. yet, i ran out of tears. so i declare, truth is sometimes best not knowin. if packs of lies is my onli lead to recovery, so pls, fill me up with lies i rather.

sighz, how strange being alive can be. those things we can so readily touch n feel are so far less real den those we can't touch, feel n see.. how ironic. how depressin. while ago i was certain i wld be better. now my confidence is ebbin like shit. god.. im so fuckin vulnerable!!!!