白天
夜晚
无时无刻
原来真真切切的病了的瞬间会令人疲惫。
有如一条离开水的小鱼，不能呼吸。
再也分不清是胃凝结着心在疼，
还是心系着胃慢慢绽裂的痛。
30 November 2006
28 November 2006
27 November 2006
双喜
its Kel's Birthday so after range, angela suggested we meet kel n julia for dinner at ang mo kio. hadda go fetch him n his new GF!!!! all of us so xcited and ok la. not a disappointment. shes quite not bad, pretty wif big round eyes and passable figure although adrian said she very BIG size.. LOLx so bad him. the rest of us felt she's overall good enuff la. so judgemental! ^^ wat to do, my precious brother ma.. mus kpo abit more. but but but, shes onli 21.. very very very young!!
how often do you get serious at the age of 21?
how often do you get serious at the age of 21?
25 November 2006
goody moody
问答题
readin back over my blog gifs a very different picture of my life on wat has actualli taken place. mayb coz i was in a fairly gd mood today. ha! back den, life was sorta dangerously depressin and dats why i oways felt the pressure to vent here, cry thr, so to speak. today i felt my life has taken on a slightly different perspective. my priorities haf shifted i tink. tings dat i oways tot were mandatory in my life aint dat necessary now at all.
im also not allowin minor emotions to drag me down for longer den it usuali would. could i say ive taken a more positive control of my life den i shld tink i ever haf before. actualli, im not sure if tis is a firmin up or a lettin go of somethin within me. i shld ask myself tis again. am i truly gainin the control i so much needed or im jus relaxin?
不夜城
so its finalli confirmed we are all goin to shanghai for our company leisure cum shoppin trip! wootz! so look forward to shoppin in style wif ada, joanne, shireen and liz. so for now, its work n weekends till 10 Jan den begin a much needed and well deserved vacation..
戒情人
"gal why dun u jus fuckin quit smokin? dat would stop all dat coughin and stuffs dats killin u frm the overdosage of cigarettes! smokin is a vice u shld seriously consider gettin rid of."
ok it got me ponderin, tis time alittle more den usual of the qns posed to me. shld i? can i? would i? the onli ting dat brings me away frm all sorts of torments were the ciggys i repeatedly brought up to my lips and of coz the look of satisfaction as i exhaled. i dun realli consider smokin a vice though. i haf quit enuff tings in my life, cigarettes can stay.
readin back over my blog gifs a very different picture of my life on wat has actualli taken place. mayb coz i was in a fairly gd mood today. ha! back den, life was sorta dangerously depressin and dats why i oways felt the pressure to vent here, cry thr, so to speak. today i felt my life has taken on a slightly different perspective. my priorities haf shifted i tink. tings dat i oways tot were mandatory in my life aint dat necessary now at all.
im also not allowin minor emotions to drag me down for longer den it usuali would. could i say ive taken a more positive control of my life den i shld tink i ever haf before. actualli, im not sure if tis is a firmin up or a lettin go of somethin within me. i shld ask myself tis again. am i truly gainin the control i so much needed or im jus relaxin?
不夜城
so its finalli confirmed we are all goin to shanghai for our company leisure cum shoppin trip! wootz! so look forward to shoppin in style wif ada, joanne, shireen and liz. so for now, its work n weekends till 10 Jan den begin a much needed and well deserved vacation..
戒情人
"gal why dun u jus fuckin quit smokin? dat would stop all dat coughin and stuffs dats killin u frm the overdosage of cigarettes! smokin is a vice u shld seriously consider gettin rid of."
ok it got me ponderin, tis time alittle more den usual of the qns posed to me. shld i? can i? would i? the onli ting dat brings me away frm all sorts of torments were the ciggys i repeatedly brought up to my lips and of coz the look of satisfaction as i exhaled. i dun realli consider smokin a vice though. i haf quit enuff tings in my life, cigarettes can stay.
22 November 2006
醉它乡
文，很久以前，你走了。为什么今天你要选择回来扰乱我早已平复的心？
你喝了醉酒，打电话给我。所说的字字模糊不清。忽然，觉得你比以前的我更需要保护。只是你比谁都更擅长伪装。但，你要明白我们已不年轻。我们已没有那样的精力去重新组合感情的故事。我们的思想和已经在担负的责任，根本不允许我们再这样的自私的去发展什么情感释放的东西。所以你不要再来电倾诉你的遗憾。不要再来打扰我的心有所属。我会在这里哀悼那一段没法开始的爱情，没有过去的回忆。不管这次选择是否正确，活下去才会有答案。或许，选择本身便是答案。更或者，你想知道的永远也不会有答案。。
其实，
是你已经失去了谈爱我的资格。
19 November 2006
disconnected
"Behind every beautiful thing there is some kind of pain."
~ Bob Dylan ~
i was standin at lvl 3 lookin far and away across the horizon, down on the groovy green along marine bay today. thr was tis magical moment when everythin looked beautiful..
the soft green grass, the swayin leaves on the trees rustlin, a gentle breeze, the sky, the sun, the shade, even the cars in the distance racin along the highway. breathtakin..
at dat moment, i jus wanna share dat xperience wif someone. i could imagine myself lookin into his eyes, sittin down on the grassy hill wif him huggin me and me kissin him. i opened my eyes, i was alone. thr is a feelin of sadness aft dat. while i can revel in my loneliness, i realised i lack dat someone to complete the "i belong to someone who belong to me" experience..
why do i hafta wake?
~ Bob Dylan ~
i was standin at lvl 3 lookin far and away across the horizon, down on the groovy green along marine bay today. thr was tis magical moment when everythin looked beautiful..
the soft green grass, the swayin leaves on the trees rustlin, a gentle breeze, the sky, the sun, the shade, even the cars in the distance racin along the highway. breathtakin..
at dat moment, i jus wanna share dat xperience wif someone. i could imagine myself lookin into his eyes, sittin down on the grassy hill wif him huggin me and me kissin him. i opened my eyes, i was alone. thr is a feelin of sadness aft dat. while i can revel in my loneliness, i realised i lack dat someone to complete the "i belong to someone who belong to me" experience..
why do i hafta wake?
16 November 2006
抱佛脚
im not sure i will survive the comin fri paper not. guess dat since im still smokin, lookin at the screen, im might as well blog a little. though sometimes i wonder if tis isnt jus a virtual reality and my sittin here and writin these words is merely a dream. i hear tis naggin voice tellin me dat im supposed to be studyin for the paper. hmmm mayb im the "bad conscience"? ok im lazy. aiya i jus needed a breather.
i haben gotten any luck tryin to get all dat crap into my brain. flippin n flippin is all i manages to do for the past 1hr.. grrr!
anyway, read tis beautiful poem today. urge to share is strong, so here it goes..
到雪的深处去
流浪
在那里
寻找一个叫做时间
的坟墓
将灵魂埋葬
sufferin is so needed in order to find one's self. how lovely.. shit! late le, mus go back to my books. me so no discipline!
faintz.
i haben gotten any luck tryin to get all dat crap into my brain. flippin n flippin is all i manages to do for the past 1hr.. grrr!
anyway, read tis beautiful poem today. urge to share is strong, so here it goes..
到雪的深处去
流浪
在那里
寻找一个叫做时间
的坟墓
将灵魂埋葬
sufferin is so needed in order to find one's self. how lovely.. shit! late le, mus go back to my books. me so no discipline!
faintz.
15 November 2006
thots
had a very very longgg day. aft work is class den study at hm wif ling. supposed to slp aft she went home at 1.30am yet somehow i couldn't slp. i so need to go to bed n rest but.. grrr.. mayb i jus needed to spend some time alone wif myself, as usual.
sometimes i felt like ive seen the world ard me like im a hundred years old. yet, i nvr knew why i cant seem to do the things dat i noe i ought.
duuno how much time has passed reflectin on wat ling said. i mus be realli crazy. can't slp when i had plenty of time on my side and now.. dunwan to slp when i barely had ample restin time? nite is a good time.. its when i can sit back and tink abt things. no one else ard to disturb my train of thots, thots i haf yet to sort out.. mayb im jus tryin to make up for somethin? jus tryin to fill in those empty spaces, those little black holes and voids dat have been suddenly created in my life. den again, mayb its more den dat..
sometimes i felt like ive seen the world ard me like im a hundred years old. yet, i nvr knew why i cant seem to do the things dat i noe i ought.
duuno how much time has passed reflectin on wat ling said. i mus be realli crazy. can't slp when i had plenty of time on my side and now.. dunwan to slp when i barely had ample restin time? nite is a good time.. its when i can sit back and tink abt things. no one else ard to disturb my train of thots, thots i haf yet to sort out.. mayb im jus tryin to make up for somethin? jus tryin to fill in those empty spaces, those little black holes and voids dat have been suddenly created in my life. den again, mayb its more den dat..
11 November 2006
盘旋
累
今天真的好累。。想要好好睡一觉真的好难。曾想人若能冬眠，那该多好。短时间内停止活动，停止记忆，进入睡眠状态。忘怀不开心的人与事才慢慢醒来。如此，世界只会有开开心心的人。
可问题却在，人只能冬眠一次，却再也醒不来。又念起了她。。唉。
逝
他们最后还是分开了。。
我明白，不爱了，就是不爱了，没有什么原因，也不会有任何理由。不管如何努力用尽心思，逝去了的，永不会再回来。她不是他一生的唯一，他也不是她这辈子的最爱。他们的缘只能那么浅，这世只能擦肩而过。
也许身为凡人的我们，根本就没有可能有着什么惊天动地的爱情，靠不住的情感，必定要沉没。
幻
好久没站在老地方静思。今晚回到窗前, 呆呆地抽着烟，望着视线内的一切，心绪似静非静。
7楼的窗外望下去，眼里看得到的都变得好渺小。小得让人觉得一脚伸出去便会踩到地。。幻觉吗？ 或许准确的来讲，是我一直都在幻想着某种程度的死亡。
不要总说我莫名其妙，我只是情绪化。
晚安。
今天真的好累。。想要好好睡一觉真的好难。曾想人若能冬眠，那该多好。短时间内停止活动，停止记忆，进入睡眠状态。忘怀不开心的人与事才慢慢醒来。如此，世界只会有开开心心的人。
可问题却在，人只能冬眠一次，却再也醒不来。又念起了她。。唉。
逝
他们最后还是分开了。。
我明白，不爱了，就是不爱了，没有什么原因，也不会有任何理由。不管如何努力用尽心思，逝去了的，永不会再回来。她不是他一生的唯一，他也不是她这辈子的最爱。他们的缘只能那么浅，这世只能擦肩而过。
也许身为凡人的我们，根本就没有可能有着什么惊天动地的爱情，靠不住的情感，必定要沉没。
幻
好久没站在老地方静思。今晚回到窗前, 呆呆地抽着烟，望着视线内的一切，心绪似静非静。
7楼的窗外望下去，眼里看得到的都变得好渺小。小得让人觉得一脚伸出去便会踩到地。。幻觉吗？ 或许准确的来讲，是我一直都在幻想着某种程度的死亡。
不要总说我莫名其妙，我只是情绪化。
晚安。
10 November 2006
幸福瞬间
S：“ 要不要我陪你去吃饭？”
J：“ 你难道没擦觉到每当你问要与否，我一定答不的吗？”
S：“ 你现在在哪里？”
J：“ 还在办公附近流荡。。”
S：“ 你留在原地等我。我快马加鞭赶过来带你去吃饭。”
虽然我还是说了不，但心以被感动。亲爱的，我很好。我这么告诉了你，你一定要相信。我不须你陪。就算彼此不见，你只要知道我在思考些什么，在乎我的感受，就足够了。对我而言，你无须特别做些什么，心里有我，念着我，真的就够了。所以，对于我的无能为力，和你的无能为力。我都心知冷暖。
今天的我很幸福。
谢谢你。
J：“ 你难道没擦觉到每当你问要与否，我一定答不的吗？”
S：“ 你现在在哪里？”
J：“ 还在办公附近流荡。。”
S：“ 你留在原地等我。我快马加鞭赶过来带你去吃饭。”
虽然我还是说了不，但心以被感动。亲爱的，我很好。我这么告诉了你，你一定要相信。我不须你陪。就算彼此不见，你只要知道我在思考些什么，在乎我的感受，就足够了。对我而言，你无须特别做些什么，心里有我，念着我，真的就够了。所以，对于我的无能为力，和你的无能为力。我都心知冷暖。
今天的我很幸福。
谢谢你。
07 November 2006
moments..
glass shatterin moment.. i tot got gunman open fire at me!
i was inside when the stupid rock came crashin thru.
luckily got solar films to tahan the million pieces from fallin all over me!
stay away frm those lawnin ninjas by the roadside!
after months of waitin.. thnx to kel,
i finally got the shades i desired soOoo much!
now pocket BIG hole le..
to the 1 who said wanna buy for me de.. whr is the MONIE!!!?
tis is the 2nd time i came across food dats in a heart shape..
first a melon, now my fav shitake. hmm..
is dat a sign i can onli haf love in my tummy? how sad.
my bejeweled highscore. impressive!
4.7 mil.. i wan hit 5 mil!! grrr... oh and u. yes la u..
dun turn and look ard.. u is, cannot beat me de la.
muahaha...
my poor jello can onli see no touch, let alone eat!
jonathan so evil.. make him drool all over the bed.
faintz...
05 November 2006
含糊不清
是不是只有初初相恋才是最美好的，过后的种种都会，都该通通被抹去。
如果可以选择，我只要回到当初，回到最爱我的那一刻。。
但当初根本回不去，有的只剩下碾不走，忘不去的记忆。。
能留给我的真的也只有那么多吗？
如果真的可以选择，我宁愿不要这般早知今日的何必当初！
有谁能告诉我为什么放下如此他妈的难？
如果可以选择，我只要回到当初，回到最爱我的那一刻。。
但当初根本回不去，有的只剩下碾不走，忘不去的记忆。。
能留给我的真的也只有那么多吗？
如果真的可以选择，我宁愿不要这般早知今日的何必当初！
有谁能告诉我为什么放下如此他妈的难？
03 November 2006
你是谁
do you ever haf the feelin dat you are missin somethin?
dat somethin fell off and you are constantly lookin for it?
every day i wake up wonderin whr it is.
im missin it but i dun even noe wat was it dat i missed..
i wan to be in love again.
i wan to feel my little deer anyhow jump.
i wan to feel the euphoria, the joy, the dizziness, the anticipation, the jealousy and the completeness dat i felt before..
i wan to say "i love you" to someone.
i wan someone to cuddle me and say "i love you".
but can i? i doubt so..
wat the fuck is wrong wif me? 不知所谓!
ok, one more ciggy den to bed le. i promised to be good and slp early tonite, for a change.
dat somethin fell off and you are constantly lookin for it?
every day i wake up wonderin whr it is.
im missin it but i dun even noe wat was it dat i missed..
i wan to be in love again.
i wan to feel my little deer anyhow jump.
i wan to feel the euphoria, the joy, the dizziness, the anticipation, the jealousy and the completeness dat i felt before..
i wan to say "i love you" to someone.
i wan someone to cuddle me and say "i love you".
but can i? i doubt so..
wat the fuck is wrong wif me? 不知所谓!
ok, one more ciggy den to bed le. i promised to be good and slp early tonite, for a change.
02 November 2006
复杂
i so fuckin envy him! in a sad way though.. sighz
so much happened in such small amt of time, it almost killed me. ive got far too many feelins and thots inside, the problem is i duuno how to present em. im wonderin if its jus becos i needed more time to put everythin in order or i jus needed a perfect timin to tell how xactly im feelin. mayb we oready agreed to face love in languor, absentmindedly. seriously, wat the fuck else can i xpect of you?
u cannot see my existence
our eyes dun meet no more
u cannot feel my sorrow
our hearts dun connect no more
thr is somethin abt your eyes
they oready look different in the dark
yes, different in the dark
怎么了？
不晓得。。
so much happened in such small amt of time, it almost killed me. ive got far too many feelins and thots inside, the problem is i duuno how to present em. im wonderin if its jus becos i needed more time to put everythin in order or i jus needed a perfect timin to tell how xactly im feelin. mayb we oready agreed to face love in languor, absentmindedly. seriously, wat the fuck else can i xpect of you?
u cannot see my existence
our eyes dun meet no more
u cannot feel my sorrow
our hearts dun connect no more
thr is somethin abt your eyes
they oready look different in the dark
yes, different in the dark
怎么了？
不晓得。。
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